


Lost and Found

by Annorahrose



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Adding more later just not sure who yet, First posting here, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-18 08:29:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1421530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annorahrose/pseuds/Annorahrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Nico left, he never really knew all he was running from.  But he's about to find out.</p><p>*Note - I don't own them, and they weren't my brain-child.  All hail the mighty Riordan! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

 

Fear is an incredible force.

                Fear can make you do things you never thought you’d do. Say things you never thought you’d say. And fear can push you to become someone you don’t even recognize.

                Nico DiAngelo was a son of Hades. He held dominion over the spirit world as The Ghost King. He fought in the Battle of Olympus and went through Tartarus completely on his own. He could face an empousai without blinking. He could cut down field of karpoi. He had faced horrors that would drive most mortals to curl into a ball, howling for their mommy. He should have been immune to fear. But he wasn’t. He had two fears that no amount of fighting could dispel.

                The first was that anyone would find out about his feelings for Percy Jackson.

                The second was that Percy Jackson would never know how much Nico loved him.

                The eternal dilemma – damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Jason knew, simply by virtue of being at the right place at the very wrong time (for Nico, anyway). He kept trying to convince Nico to tell someone else, even if it was just one other person. He kept going on and on about how things were different now. People don’t see things the same way. But Nico knew it could never be that easy. He still heard the names. He still saw the hate. He knew.

Annabeth knew too. Like Jason, she was in the right place at the right time, but in her case that place had been one of the soft, squishy couches right inside the mess hall on the Argo II where she had fallen asleep while reading, and the time had been just as Nico and Jason were walking into the mess while finishing a whispered argument that woke her about whether Nico should tell Percy how he felt. Annabeth’s heart almost stopped, but she kept her wits about her and pretended to be asleep. Nico almost broke into a run out the door when he spotted her, but Jason calmed him down, saying she was sleeping and couldn’t have heard a thing. Nico muttered something about not talking to Jason again – possibly ever – and almost sprinted back to the crow’s nest.

Annabeth didn’t say a word to anyone. Not to Nico, not to Jason, not even to Percy, even when Percy had punched a hole through his cabin wall when Nico left without a word to anyone three days after the two camps had negotiated peace. Nico didn’t even say goodbye to Hazel. One morning when the rising sun chased the shadows away, Nico went with them.

Jason had known he would leave. Once the war with Gaea was won, Nico had told him that he would leave Camp Half Blood, and Camp Jupiter, for good. He had been trying to get away from Percy for years now, but he kept getting sucked back into camp life, demigod quests, and godly shenanigans that all seemed to aim him directly into Percy’s life. He couldn’t take it anymore. It was torture, seeing him, fighting with him, being saved by him, and then returning the favor. If he could just get away from him, those feelings would have to die down, he was sure of it. It was just simply impossible to stay in love with someone you don’t see and refuse to think about.

Right?

Of course. He needed time and distance. Eventually, he would be free.

Nico was fifteen years old when he walked away from anything that might have to do with Percy Jackson.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :)

Chapter Two

 

“Look, all I want is a coffee. I’ve got the money, why can’t I just come in and buy the damned drink?” _Damned drink_ , he thought to himself. _If they only knew._ “I’ll leave right away, I promise.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, and that t-shirt is extremely offensive.”

Nico sighed and stared at the coffee house owner. He had veered off course on this stint of shadow traveling and landed in what looked like the middle of nowhere. A phone book hanging at a pay phone that looked like it was about a century old told him that he was in Redwood Falls, Minnesota. Apparently, the local residents didn’t have quite the appreciation for bloody, sword wielding skeletons that Nico did. If only this wasn’t the only place to buy coffee not brewed in a gas station for at least twenty miles. He could shadow travel again, but not until he’d had at least three or four hours of sleep.

“I. Have. Money. Right here, in my hand, how can you refuse to sell me coffee? Isn’t that kind of what you do?”

“I’m sorry, sir. Please leave before I have to call the police.”

Nico looked at the owner one more time, sighed, and turned around. “I don’t believe this..”

He turned and started to walk away.

“Nico?”

He whirled around and saw a very familiar face looking into his. Her hair was still blonde, though cut in a much shorter bob now, and her eyes were the same stormy grey. Annabeth Chase. Or was she Annabeth Jackson by now?

“Nico DiAngelo?” she asked again. Nico nearly said no, she must be thinking of someone else, but before he could she caught his arm and hugged him tight. He squirmed in her arms, but she held on fast.

“Nico. I never thought I’d see you again.” There was the slightest hint of impending tears in her voice.

Nico managed to pull away from her. “Yeah, well, that was kind of the point of leaving.”

Suddenly the sad, soft expression on her face was replaced by one of anger. Serious anger. In a flash of denim covered arm, she hauled off and slapped Nico as hard as she could. He stumbled back. Annabeth sure seemed to be keeping up on her battle training, with an arm like that.

“HEY!” Nico cried. He turned back to her, and found her face a set, furious mask.

“You absolute jackhole! Do you have any idea how much you hurt everyone when you left? Hazel cried for six weeks, Nico. SIX WEEKS. Piper and Frank had to beg her to eat. Jason pulled away from everyone except Piper – he finally told us that you leaving was all HIS fault, that he was too hard on you. I think we both know that’s a load of minotaur dung, don’t we? Percy was beside himself, Nico. He was worried absolutely sick. He tried to find you, Nico, did you know that? He went to the UNDERWORLD, NICO! TRYING TO FIND YOU. And, what, four years later I find you in BFE, Minnesota? What the hell, Nico?”

Percy had gone looking for him? Percy went to the UNDERWORLD? No, wait, she was pulling him into her hysteria, he had to focus.

“Hey, I never asked for any of that. I didn’t ask Percy to go anywhere, and I sure as hell didn’t ask Jason to go all Roman martyr on me.”

Annabeth roared through clenched teeth in frustration. “Same old Nico, can’t think about anything else but himself. Hazel and Frank are engaged, did you know that? You’re going to have a brother in law in about five months. I’ve been helping her with wedding planning. Every single time, she breaks down in tears because her brother isn’t going to be there.”

That one hurt. Bad. Nico would go to just about any lengths to keep Hazel form getting hurt. He sort of thought that his leaving camp would help – he wouldn’t be around to complicate things for her… to embarrass her if his secret got out. The anger and defensiveness drained out of him, and he dropped his hands and stared at his shoes.

“I never meant to hurt her. Or anyone else.”

“Well, too bad. You did.”

Nico bristled again at her sharp, cold tone. What did she expect from him?

“What do you want me to do, Annabeth?”

She looked him in the eye for several long seconds. “I want you to come and have coffee with me, and let me see if I can pound some sense into that thick skull of yours.” Nico was completely taken aback. He was a son of Hades, and he commanded respect! Or, failing that, at least he could usually psych people out enough to keep them from yelling at him. Recovering himself, Nico found the only comment that came to him was “But they won’t let me in. They said my shirt’s offensive.” Annabeth huffed out a breath, grabbed the hem of his shirt, and before he could do more than sputter incoherently she had whipped it off over his head and pushed it, now inside out, back over his neck.

Nico was stunned. Without another word, he followed Annabeth into the little coffee shop, pulling his arms into the sleeves of his shirt as he went.

                “Sit down over there, I’ll get the coffee.” Annabeth ordered, and strangely enough, if didn’t occur to Nico to do anything but follow her direction. The manager took one look at him and drew in a breath, as if to hustle him out again, but Annabeth intervened. “Ron, I already made him turn his shirt inside out, now all that’s offensive is the scowl, and he’ll be pointing that at me.” Ron didn’t look convinced, but he sat back down, careful to keep his eyes on Nico. Annabeth came over to the table and set two large mugs of coffee down between them.

                “Do I even want to know what this is?” Nico asked skeptically.

                “It’s a Redwood Mocha, one of Ron’s creations. It’s out of this world, try it.”

                Nico sipped the drink hesitantly. Annabeth was right, it was amazing. Chocolate and hazelnut and nutmeg – and something else he could quite identify.

                Annabeth recognized the speculative look on his face and smiled wryly. “He won’t tell anyone what it is. We know there’s cinnamon, hazelnut, nutmeg and a bit of sea salt, but he won’t let that last ingredient out. People around here have been trying for about 20 years to figure it out, but he won’t crack.”

                “It’s really good. I mean, REALLY good. Persephone would kill for this recipe. Possibly literally.” They both grinned and sipped their drinks. “So, is that what you’re doing here? Come to the middle of nowhere for the excellent coffee? Not that it’s not worth it – damn, this stuff is like nectar!”

                Annabeth smiled. “About a year and a half ago, I came out here to do some consulting work for Olympus. They wanted a portable version of the Mall of America, and so I figured the best way to design it was to spend some time in the mortal version. While I was here, Redwood Falls was recommended as a great place to visit, so I came down to check it out and fell in love with the whole area. I’ve been to other places too, northern hotspots like the headwaters of the Mississippi and I’ve seen two Paul Bunyan statues, but this place just… I don’t know, it’s like it calls to me.”

                “So does Percy like it that much too?”

                Annabeth’s face fell slightly, and her eyes fixed on her coffee. “Percy and I aren’t together anymore.”

                Nico was stunned. Percy and Annabeth not together was like… man, he couldn’t even think of an analogy.

                “I’m s… I’m sorry. Gods, when?”

                “After the war with Gaea, Percy changed. It wasn’t sudden, it happened little by little, but he was growing more and more… unsettling to be around. He took unnecessary risks, he was less careful with things he said… he was just so restless. He went on quest after quest to kill monsters, but they were getting more and more destructive. Finally, he kil… “ Annabeth took a deep breath and sipped her coffee “He killed a mortal. It was an accident, but it happened because he was being reckless and not paying attention. Once that happened, something inside him broke. We split up not long after things started to escalate with him. I think something in the back of his mind was telling him that he was being reckless and putting himself in danger, and he didn’t want to put me in the same position.”

                “But he didn’t break up with you because he didn’t love you anymore – so why aren’t you back together?”

                Annabeth bit her lip and looked at Nico speculatively. “No, he and I still love each other very, very much. We always will, and he’s pretty much my best friend on the planet. But we both went through a lot after the war, and we landed in very different places. Not all of his behavior was destructive, you know. There was a lot of self-discovery. He started kickboxing, which has helped him corral some of those wild instincts that were getting him into three-on-one fights with empousai. Oh…” she said offhandedly, “remind me to tell you about the time he went looking for Kelli, the cheerleader from hell. THAT was interesting. He also made some very personal discoveries. He’s a marine animal rights activist. And he doesn’t so much care about the specific gender of the people he dates.” Annabeth looked at Nico, trying to judge his reaction to this news.

                “Wha… what do you mean ‘doesn’t care about gender’?”

                Annabeth raised her chin and looked Nico straight in the eye. “I mean, Nico DiAngelo, that Percy has discovered that a person’s heart and soul mean a lot more to him than their physical makeup. He’s dated both women and men since we broke up.” She held his gaze. He gulped and looked away, blushing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three is already churning in my brain, but I'd LOVE to know what you guys think of this so far... :)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

                “Nico…” Annabeth started, reaching her hand across the table to cover his.  He withdrew his and tucked it in his lap, still avoiding Annabeth’s gaze.  She pulled her hand back and wrapped it around her coffee cup, giving him time to process.

                Nico was completely stunned.  Percy and Annabeth not together.  Percy killed a mortal.  Percy not utterly straight.  Annabeth taking extreme care to let him know Percy was not utterly straight.  He finally leveled his eyes with hers, peering into them, trying to confirm where his thoughts were taking him.  Yup.  She knew.

                “When did you…?” Nico trailed off, not knowing how to finish the thought.

                “I overheard a conversation between you and Jason on the Argo II.  You thought I was asleep.”

                Nico’s temper flared in embarrassment and fear. “So you eavesdropped, and then pretended to be asleep so I wouldn’t know you’d found out, because it’s PERSONAL and NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS?  Does Percy know?  What am I thinking, of course Percy knows…”                                                                                                                    

                Annabeth remained calm and cool as she took another sip of coffee.  “No, Nico, I fell asleep in a public area of the ship, was awakened by a conversation that should have been held in private, and had the good sense not to upset you further by letting you see that I had heard.  Gods, you almost tore Jason’s head off when you saw me, of course I pretended I hadn’t heard.  And, for your information, I never told a soul, dead or alive.  Jason doesn’t even know that I know.  That’s not my story to tell, and I resent you implying that I would betray you like that.”

                Nico sat bolt upright, wobbling in that space between righteous indignation and knowing you’ve made a really bad call.  Annabeth held his eyes, not backing down.  Considering the dark, frightening glare Nico had spent years perfecting in the Underworld, the fact that she did not look away was more than a little impressive.  He had forgotten how strong Annabeth was.  Slowly, his muscles unclenched, and he relaxed.  He looked down into his own coffee.

                “I’m sorry.”

                Annabeth sighed.  “I’m sorry too; I shouldn’t have sprung it on you like that.  I assume that you never told any of the others, am I right?  Besides Jason, I mean.”

                “Gods no!”

                “Why not?”

                “Annabeth, this isn’t something you just go around telling people.”

                Her brow creased in slight confusion.  “Why not?”

                Nico huffed an exasperated breath.  “Because I have enough crap to deal with being a son of Hades, I don’t need people judging me because I’m gay.  And don’t give me that ‘more tolerant age’ shit, I see it all the time – the judgment, the hostility.  I don’t need it.”  His voice had become a furious whisper.

                Annabeth looked at him in surprise.  “Nico, any demigod who would attack you for being gay would, first of all, probably be blown off the face of the Earth by their godly parent, as there’s pretty much no such thing as a straight god or goddess.  Well, except for Hera, but that might be just because Zeus is the only one who would put up with her.  Second, the minute anyone would try, most of the camp would lay them flat.  You haven’t spent enough time at either camp to really get to know people – there are more than a few gay campers at Camp Half Blood, and even more at Camp Jupiter.”

                Nico did not expect that.  He had spent so much time concentrating on shutting down that part of himself, he never even considered looking around him for others who might feel the same way.  He didn’t know how to react.  He just stared at Annabeth, trying to wrap his mind around her words.  He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no sound came out.  Annabeth reached out to touch his hand again, but this time just reached her fingertips towards his knuckles.

                “And third, if anyone, and I mean anyone, tried to mess with you on this, there are nine of us that would have crushed them.  And I mean it, Nico, you are family to us – you and Reyna and Coach Hedge, you’re our family.  You’re a part of us.  I don’t know how Jason knew, but the things he was telling you about how we would support you were 100% true.” 

                Nico wasn’t sure how to feel about those words.  He didn’t need a family.  He’d gotten along just fine without one since he was ten years old, when he lost Bianca.  When he found Hazel he had been so grateful to have a sister again, but a part of him had held back.  His family had a nasty habit of getting… well… dead.  He couldn’t get too close to Hazel, especially knowing that her time on Earth was measured more than most.  She could be taken back to the Underworld at any time, and there he would be again.  Alone.  So he kept even Hazel at an arm’s length.  Or at least he tried to.  There was a part of him that defiantly refused to listen to reason, and that part loved his sister so much that sometimes it hurt.  That part had ached every minute since he had left Camp Half Blood for good.

                It was that part that grasped on to Annabeth’s words like a lifeline.  A family.  Not a “get together for Thanksgiving dinner” kind of family, but an “I’ve got your back, and I’m not going anywhere” family.  He didn’t know if he could allow himself to believe in that.  Believe in support that would always be there.  Believe that someone, anyone, could love him like that, like he was worth fighting for.  His mother did, and then she was killed.  Bianca did, and then she was taken too.  How could he even consider that kind of risk again?

                They sat in silence for several minutes, Nico lost in his thoughts, and Annabeth patiently waiting for him.  She looked out the window at the trees – huge and so beautiful.  She never got tired of looking at them. 

                Finally, Nico looked at Annabeth and asked “Do you think Hazel will… I don’t know… mind?  Be offended or disgusted?”

                Annabeth laughed a short but deep laugh.  “Nico, Hazel has three close friends at Camp Jupiter that are gay, and she’s played matchmaker for each of them at least twice.  Plus there’s the small fact that you’re her brother, and she adores you.”

                Nico shook his head and looked down.  Twenty minutes ago, he miss-stepped while shadow traveling, and now here he was, in a coffee house in Minnesota of all places, listening to Annabeth Chase (not Jackson) tell him that she knew his secret, Percy was bi, they weren’t together anymore, and he had apparently missed the fact that there were other gay campers at both camps.  He knew shadow traveling was dangerous, but it usually didn’t result in a near total shift in his view of reality and his head feeling like it was about to explode.  He looked at Annabeth with no expression on his face.

                “I don’t even know what to say.”

                “I don’t blame you.” she answered softly, touching his knuckles again.  “Tell you what, there are a bunch of trails around the Falls. Why don’t you take a walk?  Give yourself time to think, process, whatever.  The view is gorgeous pretty much wherever you end up.  See that little blue house right there?” she pointed down the street to a one story blue house with plain wooden shutters.  There was a large maple tree in the front yard, covered with the multi-colored leaves of early October.  “That’s my house.  When you’re done thinking, stop by if you’d like.  I do all my work remotely now, so I’m usually home or at the bookstore all day.  And, to be honest, I’d kill for a good sparring partner – this place may be beautiful, but there’s not much in the way of adept swordsmen.  Or women.” she winked.

                “Okay.  Yeah, thanks.” Nico said, his brow still creased and his eyes still troubled and… overloaded, maybe.  Annabeth stood with him, and gave him another brief hug.

                “I know you’re not much for being touched, but I haven’t seen you in four years, so you’re gonna have to suck it up.”  She smiled at him and let him go.  “I hope I’ll see you later, Nico.”  Even with the boatload of information she had given him today, information which she was fairly certain he would want further explanations for, she knew Nico DiAngelo.  He could bolt at any minute, and there wasn’t a thing anyone could do to stop him.

                “Yeah…” Nico said again.  “Thanks.”  She turned and started out the door.  “Hey, Annabeth?”  She turned around and looked at him.  “You’ll see me again.  It might not be today, but you will.  I promise.”

                She gave him one last knowing smile and walked out of the coffee house.  He followed her to the sidewalk, and then turned towards the hiking trails.  The Falls might be gorgeous, but Nico needed the comfort of something familiar right now, and the coffee had given him just enough pep to do a short jump.  Once he was out of her line of sight, he folded himself into a shadow and disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, this is so much FUN!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU note - Bianca has not yet chosen to be reborn. :)

Chapter Four

                Every once in a while, Nico would head over to talk with old allies in Elysium.  On one visit, he was talking to Charles Beckendorf, and in the conversation Beckendorf had mentioned a small camping area/rough resort he loved to go to when he was a kid called Black Bear Lodge.  He described the layout of the area, and the lack of permanent population, and Nico decided to check out its prospects as a possible place to get away from just about anything.

Beckendorf had been right.  Little Lake St. Germain in northern Wisconsin was not a place one would ever think to go looking for Nico.  That, and the islands that dotted the lake where he could easily raise the dead for sparring practice, made it a perfect place for Nico to go when he needed to be alone.  And right now, he needed to be Alone, capital “A”.  He landed on one of the islands, one he knew had a small cave on one side where he could build a small fire in that would not be seen from the shore.

Nico gathered some brush and wood for a fire, then settled himself with a sigh against the cave wall.  He was exhausted.  He had needed to get some serious rest when he found himself in Redwood Falls.  Now, another shadow jump and a conversation heavier than a Laestrygonian giant later, his mind and body were begging for sleep.  Nico had long since mastered the art of shutting down his mind when he needed to rest.  Far too often he found himself in dangerous places or circumstances, and when the opportunity to rest presented itself, he couldn’t afford to lose precious hours of sleep because of racing thoughts.  He ducked into the cave and pulled out the sleeping roll he stashed there.  He opted to put off starting a fire for a while, settled onto the bed roll, and was asleep almost immediately.

The dreams found him, of course.  Tartarus had turned his REM sleep into a wide selection of vicious options that could terrify him.  Hard and cold as he might be while fighting monsters in the “real world”, when he had those encounters in Tartarus it took the experience to a whole different level.  They fought him physically, psychologically, and emotionally.  Being attacked on all three levels was nothing short of torture.  He felt as if his body was being torn into a million pieces.  His mind was being shredded as if it were soft cheese.  His heart… there were no words for what happened to his heart.  While his body was fighting a telekhein, his mind would be battling an image of Phineas reciting terrifying prophecies, and his heart would be wrenched with the feelings he suffered when Bianca died, or when he thought Percy had betrayed him.  That was what his dreams were like, too.  He relived those battles over and over.  He tried going without sleep – getting only as much as he would need to get by, but it was too taxing on his body.  Now he simply tried to pry as much rest as possible out of every minute he was asleep.  It was all he could do.

When Nico woke, it was twilight.  The early October was quite warm, but a breeze off the water was starting to press a chill into his skin.  He built the fire, then rummaged in his bag for some food.  Nico was getting awfully sick of protein bars, but they made for great travel meals.  He dug a bit further and unearthed an orange and a small bag of nuts.  Last he pulled a bottle of Coke from his coat pocket, and settled down in front of the fire to eat.  He stared into the flames as he ate the bar and the orange, and sipped at the Coke.  His mind was going in a million different directions all at once, but one thing kept poking at him from the back of his mind. 

Nico wanted to talk to Bianca.

Hades frowned heavily on Nico summoning his sister’s spirit, but he had never forbade him outright.  It was risky – very risky.  He could expose this place, which would mean he would lose it as a refuge.  He could catch Hades attention, which he did NOT want to do.  After a brief internal struggle, Nico stepped into the shadows just outside the firelight.  He kept a spade in his backpack, and he used it to dig the hole he would need.  When he was younger and less skilled at summoning, he needed a hole the size of a human grave, and huge amounts of food and drink.  Now he dug a hole only large enough for a hamster to be buried in, poured the rest of his Coke into it, and started chanting as he opened the bag of nuts and poured them into the pool of brown liquid.

It took almost no time at all.  Bianca’s spirit appeared to Nico less than thirty seconds after he had begun chanting.  She rose from the ground, translucent, bent over the tiny offering and drank.  Her body transitioned to a form that was more solid, but still unearthly.  She knelt next to Nico, who had gone silent.  Her dark eyes drank him in, like she wanted to press this moment into her spirit to keep with her forever.

“Every time I see you, I can’t believe how much you’ve grown.”

“I miss you, Bi.”  Nico’s eyes misted with tears, and he wiped at them absently.  Bianca raised a ghostly hand and placed it next to Nico’s cheek, as if to wipe away the tears.  He wished he could touch her.  Her hand was one he would gladly hold.

“Bi, I don’t know what to do.”  Nico said quietly.  Bianca had known how Nico felt about Percy.  They had talked about it briefly when they said goodbye after the quest in the Labyrinth.  She was the only one he told (on purpose, at least).  She understood, and she loved him.  Now he told her of the wars, his trip through Tartarus, his attempts to stave off his feelings, and the meeting with Annabeth.  He talked more outside that little campfire than he had in the entire past month.

When he was finished, he looked at his sister’s ghost and asked softly “What do I do now, Bi?  Do I just keep going as I have been?  Do I go back?  So Percy is bisexual, that doesn’t mean he’s going to return my feelings.  I could make a total fool out of myself.”

“That is very true, Nic.” she said, using his nickname from childhood.  “It’s a big gamble, to change your course now.  You’ve worked out a life for yourself where you are… maybe comfortable isn’t the right word, but you know what you’re doing.  You make your own choices, and they mostly affect only you.  If you go back, if you open up that connection again, you risk terrible heartache.”

Nico bowed his head.  That was what he was afraid of, the possibility that his mind could not seem to get past.

“But,” continued Bianca, “if you do not try, I fear a different form of that heartache will be certain.  As a fine author once said, ‘Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.’  You must make the decision for yourself, Nico, but do not discount your heart.”

“My heart.  My stupid heart is what got me into this mess in the first place!” Nico complained.  “How can I go back now?  According to Annabeth, pretty much everyone is mad at me.  I left with no goodbye, how can I just go back?  How can I face them?  How can I face Hazel?”   Nico’s voice dropped to a whisper.  “How can I face him, Bi?”  And then, for the first time in his life, he gave voice to the single most terrifying thought he had ever had.

“What if I can’t make him love me?”

Bianca smiled a small, sad smile.  “I hate to tell you this, Nic, but you can’t make him love you.  You can’t make anyone love you.  You have to do something that is much, much harder.  You have to _let_ them love you.  But in order to do that, Nic, you have to give them a chance.  They will be angry if you go back now.  I hate to tell you this, but leaving like you did was cowardly, and more than a little thoughtless, especially to Hazel.”  Nico bowed his head in shame at these words, but Bianca put her shimmering hand under his chin and guided his gaze back up to hers, speaking softly.  “But, as Annabeth said, you are a part of them.  You are family.  They will forgive you.”

Nico stared into her beautiful, translucent face – into those eyes he knew so well.  He looked at her hands, her arms that had held him as a child, calming his fears and chasing his little-boy nightmares away.  He missed her so much.

“I have to go.  Hades will notice the disturbance soon.”  Nico nodded and reached out his hand.  Bianca brought hers to the space where they would have met, if hers had been flesh.  “I love you always, my little Nic.”

“I love you too, Bi.”

And with a slight sighing sound, Bianca DiAngelo faded back into the spirit world.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this one got away from me a bit. I thought it was going to accomplish to plot points, and then 2500 words later it had barely gotten in one. Never fear, anticipated reunions are coming soon, I promise! 
> 
> BTW, just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who's been reading, commenting and leaving kudos. I can tell you how much it means. :)

Chapter Five  
It was another two days before Nico felt ready to leave the island. He summoned partners to spar with and took brief jumps to the shore to stock up on food from the local convenience store. He happened to find a sketchbook that he had picked up nearly six months earlier tucked into a front pocket of his backpack. He wasn’t sure what made him buy it, and it had just sat, unused, in the backpack ever since. Now he opened the cover and looked at the blank sheet of paper. As a child he had loved to draw and color, and he wondered if it would still carry the same feeling of creation that it had back then.

  
He wasn’t an artist by any means, but he found he loved the way his hand felt when he moved it across a sheet of paper, making something all his own out of ink and wood pulp. He started with random strokes, making shapes and lines that didn’t mean anything. He liked the way his drawing looked – it was kind of like taking a snapshot of his soul, with sharp corners and random lines and no real sense of cohesion. That’s how Nico felt right now – undone. Absently, he turned to a fresh page and started to sketch. While his mind tried to corral his thoughts into something he could try and understand, his hand moved with a mind of its own. The thoughts wouldn’t stop spinning in circles – he had to go back, but he couldn’t go back, it would hurt too much, but he had to know, and DAMNIT why was this so hard?! After about 30 minutes of non-stop round robin in his brain, Nico let out a frustrated sigh and leaned his head back against the cave wall. When he looked back to the sketchbook, he was startled to find that his unconscious mind had answered the question for him. The sketch was rough, but there was no mistaking the subject.

  
It was Percy Jackson’s face.

  
Now, Nico wasn’t ever one to let his fate be decided by the magic 8 ball. Fate had chewed him up and spit him out again too many times for him to trust any act that he himself had not thought through, planned, organized, and prepared for contingencies. But suddenly, Nico knew it was the right choice to make. He didn’t know where it was coming from, and that irritated him quite a bit, but everything in him was screaming “GO. FIND HIM. FIND THEM ALL. DON’T BE A MORON”

  
“Well, I guess that answers that.”

Nico looked at the sky - it must have been about noon. He wondered if Annabeth would be home, and thought that if she wasn’t, he could just hit the coffee shop again. He glanced down at his shirt – plain black today, no offending undead creatures. He gathered his wrappers, doused the fire with lake water, made sure his gear was stashed well and hidden, and gathered his backpack together – adding the sketchbook last. Then he stepped into the shadows right outside the cave and melted into darkness.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Nico folded out from a dense shadow thrown by a clump of very, very big trees, it occurred to him that this was not the kind of place he thought he’d ever come to twice. But, he had to admit to himself, it did have a kind of charm to it. He could even see why Annabeth loved it here.

  
“Gods help me, I’m turning into a sap. I need to listen to some Disturbed, like right now.”

  
He found that he was just down the street with the coffee shop, but he couldn’t see Annabeth’s house. “Hey, I’ve got to orient myself, right?” he thought, while his mouth watered at the thought of one of Ron’s Redwood Mochas. He was halfway there when he spotted a small bookstore directly across the street.

“Divine Wisdom” was not flashy or particularly eye catching. It was a small storefront with unadorned windows showing mountains of books. “Gee, I wonder who could have thought of that…” he said sarcastically. He crossed the street and pushed open the door. A bell dinged, and a girl with dark brown, curly hair looked up from a desk in the back (it must have doubled as the store’s register) and smiled at him.

“Hey there, stranger! How can I help you?” Her cheery voice and wide smile were both pleasant and a bit unsettling. Nico spent most of his time in the Underworld – he wasn’t used to people smiling at him.

“Um, hey. I was wondering, does Annabeth Chase work here?”

“Annabeth Chase doesn’t consider what she does here work.” A voice piped up from a back room. Nico hid a small smile. “He’s good, Sarah, send him on back.”

Sarah smiled at him again and giggled as she said “Go right on back.”

Nico nodded and threaded through the store. The books were, quite literally, everywhere. Shelves had been set up with aisles so narrow Nico wondered how book avalanches weren’t an everyday occurrence.

“Hey, Annabeth. I didn’t know you ran a store. This place is pretty cool”

“This place is massively cool, DiAngelo, pretty doesn’t cut it.” Annabeth gave him a small wink. “It’s almost lunchtime, have you eaten yet?”

“Uh, no, not yet.”

“I need to get this order packaged up and mailed out, and then I’ll take you to Sammy’s.”

“Sammy’s isn’t the name of the place with the killer mocha’s, is it?”

Annabeth laughed. “No, that’s Java Jungle. Sammy’s is… well, I’ll let you see for yourself. Why don’t you look around while I get this ready to go, we’ll hit the post office and then go to eat.”

“Sounds good.” Nico wandered to the front section and casually looked over some of the sections. As he rounded a corner, he almost tripped over Sarah, who was waiting to ambush him.

“Hi!” she said brightly. “So, where do you know Annabeth from?”

Nico took a half a step back. “Uh… from camp.”

That, apparently, was the wrong thing to say. Sarah’s face lit up and she squealed “Oh. My. GOSH! You went to that camp too? Tell me about it, Annabeth will only tell me that she grew up there, but she won’t tell me anything else. Was it fun? Was there a theme, like soccer camp or band camp? How long did you go? What was Annabeth like when she was a kid? Oh, where do you live now?”

Nico had a sudden flashback to his ten year old self, bombing Percy Jackson with questions in much the same way Sarah was lobbing them at him now. He made a mental note to apologize to Percy.

“Uh…” he stammered, but before he could get anything else out, Annabeth came to his rescue.

“All right, Sarah, you know I love you, but I’m kicking you out.”

Sarah turned to look at her with such a heartbroken expression on her face, you’d have thought her dog had just been run over. “Why?”

“First of all, for interrogating Nico. Second, I need to get this mailed out and then I’m heading to lunch and I’m out the rest of the day. Sorry kiddo… but I should be back tomorrow.”

“Well, if you left me with the keys, I could just lock up when I’m done and bring them back to you.” Sarah suggested hopefully. “I’ll even bring you coffee! Please, Annabeth?” Her tone had shifted into downright begging, and she held her hands clasped in front of her. Wow. That was some serious melodrama the kid had going.

“Hmmm, let me think about that.” Annabeth put a finger to her chin and pulled a face like she was concentrating hard on something. “Do I want to leave the keys with you and then come in tomorrow to find my medieval history section suddenly merged with my renaissance history section? Or risk you branching out and reorganizing the entire foreign music section?” Despite her sarcasm, her face was kind and friendly.

“Annabeth, I told you I was sorry, and I’ll make it up to you, I promise, but…”

“Nope, sorry kiddo. I’m not even sure where I’m going to be, so there’s no way to get the keys back from you.”

“I keep telling you, if you’d just get me a set of my own, I could help you so much more!”

Annabeth laughed and put one arm around the girl. “Oh Sarah, I just love you to pieces. Go home, do some more work on the Parthenon model. I need something in that front window, you know.”

Sarah’s disappointed face brightened and she gasped. “Oh my gosh, I forgot, my pillars are supposed to be delivered today.” And with that, she started out at a trot. Then she paused and turned back around. “Bye Nico, it was really nice to meet you!” She flashed one more bright smile and took off down a road lined with maple and ash trees.

Nico and Annabeth watched her for a moment. “Wow. That kid’s… uh… very cheerful.” Nico said in an almost dazed voice.

“Yes she is. She’s smart as a whip, but has a really hard time concentrating. I wondered for a while if she might be a half blood. It’s just her and her dad, and he’s not real comfortable talking about her mom at all. Sarah keeps trying to set us up.” Annabeth giggled. “She’s a bit much at times, but she’s really one in a million.”  
Annabeth sighed, and for a moment seemed to be lost in thought. Then she shook her head slightly and looked at Nico. “Lunch. C’mon, I’m starving.” She started to walk, but Nico touched her arm and she stopped.

“Um, is there any way we can go to your house instead? Not so many people, you know.”

Annabeth cocked her head and looked at Nico with speculation. “Sure. I’m due to go grocery shopping about a week ago, so I don’t have much to make. But I can order a pizza.”

“Pizza sounds great. Thanks Annabeth.”

She grinned at him in response and turned to walk in the other direction. “Follow me.” She winked at him and walked briskly away.

For a moment, Nico was distracted by how much Annabeth had changed. She was still strong, still in command, still very much like Athena. But now she seemed… softer wasn’t the right word. Sweeter? No, that wasn’t it… Nico couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was different. Maybe this was just what Annabeth was when she didn’t have mythical wars being flung at her every other year.

“Hey, Earth to DiAngelo! Step it up, the pizza’s not gonna order itself.”

Nico smiled, just a little, and followed her.

 __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It turned out that, while Redwood Falls had the best coffee he’d ever had in his life (and he was born in Italy), their pizza left much to be desired. But considering the fact that Nico’s main source of nutrition was power bars, he was not likely to look a gift pizza in the mouth.

  
“Alright Nico, I’ve fed and watered you, now it’s time for you to do some talking.”

Nico suddenly got very nervous. “Not much to talk about, really…”

Annabeth cut across him almost immediately. “Bull, DiAngelo. We fought two wars together. We vanquished the Titans, which pretty much everyone thought couldn’t be done by a bunch of kids, and THEN we defeated the giants and…”

“YOU defeated the giants, Annabeth. I was at Camp Half Blood with Reyna and Coach, trying to keep the Greeks and Romans from killing each other.”

“That’s exactly my point, Nico! Without the peace you three negotiated, the Olympians would never have been able to resolve their dual personality issue, and Gaea would have won! At the end, we all fought, and won, together. By some miracle and despite our…” Annabeth paused, taking a deep breath “… our losses we beat her. And every single one of us is out of our minds with sensory overload – the war being over, having our godly parents not crazy again… er, not AS crazy anyway… loosing Reyna… loosing Leo…”

“Whoa, hold on there – Leo? Leo’s not dead, he was fine when I left!”

“We don’t know the specifics of what happened. He’d been in bunker nine for a solid week when his cabin went to hunt him down. When they got there, the bunker was a complete wreck and Leo was gone.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s dead, he could have just…”

“He left Festus, Nico. And the Archimedes sphere. And the tool belt.”

Nico’s heart sank to his shoes. Not much beyond death itself could keep Leo from his beloved bronze dragon. Then he shook his head. “No, he’s not dead. He can’t be dead, I’d know.”

“Nico, how could you possibly know? He’s only one person…”

  
Nico cut her off. “Annabeth, you don’t understand. I’m tuned in to you – to all of you. If someone dies who has an emotional connection with me, their death resonates through me… kind of like a gong with no sound. Leo’s not dead. I’d know.”

“How do you know that?” Annabeth whispered. “You left us. What connection could there have been if you could just leave like that?” There were no tears in her eyes, and her voice didn’t sound sad or hurt – just defeated and exhausted. She looked up from her hands, her fingers woven together on top of her knees. “Why did you leave us? We would have died for you, and you left us.”

Nico drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing his eyes and leaning back on the couch where he was sitting. “I’m not sure I can have this conversation with you, Annabeth.”

She barked a short, humorless laugh. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you can. I’m pretty sure you owe me that much, Nico.”

“You won’t like it.”

“Well, gosh Nico, that’ll be such a switch from the whole up and disappearing thing, which I just LOVED, let me tell you…”

 

Damn, this chick was killer with sarcasm. She hit those inflections perfectly to inflict maximum levels of sass. And guilt.  
Nico remained silent for a long time. Something in his expression told her that he was trying to put it all into words, and it wasn’t an easy process. She picked up another piece of pizza and patiently waited.

“I’ve got all night, Nico. Take your time.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being a straight girl with not nearly enough gay friends, I had to kind of wing it on Nico’s backstory on this. My apologies if I was offensive in any aspect, and again, I REALLY DO WELCOME gentle guidance. Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!

Chapter Six

                Nico wasn’t sure where to start, and he was a little surprised to realize he was actually willing to talk to Annabeth about this at all. But somewhere inside him, a little piece of him let go and the words came streaming out of his mouth in an avalanche of emotion and relief.

                In a demonstration of cooperation completely unlike him, Nico talked for nearly an hour. He told Annabeth about seeing Percy for the first time, and how that moment was the most powerful he had ever felt. It was like something inside him woke, and his mind was working on a whole new level. Then the quest – and Bianca’s death.

                “I loved my sister more than anything else in the world, and I believed that he had gotten her killed. Hell, I believed he wanted to kill me too! But I saw those skeletons attacking him, and even though I thought he had taken Bianca away from me, I couldn’t stop myself from saving him. The thought of him being hurt… it hurt me. It made me feel physically sick, and I thought I was going to pass out for a minute. And, except for the time in Tartarus, I swear to you, that was the most terrifying moment of my life. To know that feelings can run that deep… I was ten years old, and that’s too young to know the power that love has over you.”

                He went on, describing the roller coaster his young, hormonal and puberty-ridden body and mind went on over the next three years. Annabeth had been present for most of it, but there were a few things she only knew from Percy’s side of the stories. He was really surprised at how easy it was to keep talking once he’d started, and even more surprised at Annabeth’s unquestioning acceptance.

                “I worked hard to convince him to bathe in the River Styx. I told him it was because of the war, that it was the only way we would win – and it was. But it was also my failsafe. The only way I could extend any protection over him. I knew he was more than capable of pulling his own weight. But he was strong – not invincible. I couldn’t risk it.”

                The confession went on and on, and finally came to the day Nico left camp.

                “I knew how much he loved you, I could see it in his eyes and it was the same way I felt about him. You and Percy were like H2 and O – combined, you made something that mankind itself can’t survive without. I’m sorry, Annabeth, but it was nothing short of torture to see you two together.”

                Annabeth let out a long breath. “I don’t even know what to say, Nico.”

                “Nothing that really can be said. It was what it was, and it is what it is. It sure wasn’t your fault. You said you overheard that conversation with me and Jason, right?”

                Annabeth squirmed uncomfortably. “Yeah”

                “We had that conversation on the way from Camp Half Blood to Camp Jupiter for the peace talks. You didn’t know until after the war was over. And besides, what if you did? Wouldn’t have changed anything.”

                “Would have changed a LOT Nico!” Annabeth sat forward, her voice raised and her finger and inch from Nico’s chest. “If I had known, if anyone had known, we could have supported you. We could have been there for you, and been more sensitive to how you felt.”

                “Damnit, Annabeth, that’s my point! You shouldn’t have had to, it shouldn’t have been like that!”

                Annabeth’s eyes went wide, and she sat back slowly. “You were ashamed. I just thought you didn’t want Percy to know, but that wasn’t all of it. You didn’t want anyone to know. Gods, how stupid can I be? You thought it was wrong – immoral - didn’t you?”

                Annabeth’s voice had become soft. There was empathy, but not pity. Nico was grateful for that.

                “I was born in the 1930’s, and I spent half my life before Mama died within spitting distance of the Vatican. In the last couple of years I’ve been able to figure some things out. I spend most of my time in the underworld, and about a year and a half ago I started visiting the souls in Elysium. I made friends with this guy who’s gay – out and about and loud and proud, he’d say. Name is Andrew, and he’s awesome. Without him, I don’t know if I’d have had the courage to talk to anyone who wasn’t on the soul side.”

                “Soul side?”

                “It’s slang, just what the Underworlders call the place where the dead are. Anyway, he told me I should find some “living support”. He died in 1983, so he is a little behind the times. So I took his advice, and started to keep my eyes open for people I felt… people I felt I was safe with. And eventually, I found some.”

                “And are you now out and about and loud and proud?” Annabeth asked with a gentle smile.

                “Well, there’s a lot more to it than that, but I’m definitely out, and with how much shadow traveling I do, I’m definitely about. Loud is probably not something I’ll ever be.”

                “How about proud?”

                Nico smiled to himself. When he recited Andrew’s mantra in his mind and checked his feelings against it, he always stopped at loud. Like that stubborn little voice carrying all the way from 1940 wouldn’t let him answer. Luckily for him, that voice wasn’t nearly as powerful as a direct question from Annabeth Chase.

                “I am, actually. I’ve worked hard, and I’ve gone through a lot. I think I’ve done okay.”

                Annabeth chuckled in disbelief.

                “Nico DiAngelo. You lost your mother when you were, what, six? Seven? Lost your sister at ten. Lived off of nothing besides your own wits for years, trained yourself, fought two wars, saved Hazel from the Underworld, went through Tartarus BY YOURSELF, and to top it all off, it turns out you grew up gay and terrified of being rejected. And STILL managed to win those wars and save a crapload of lives. I'd say you've done a hell of a lot better than 'okay'.” Annabeth stood up and pulled Nico into a hug. His arms remained stiff. Hugging REALLY wasn’t his thing.

                “I’m proud of you.” Annabeth said, still hugging him. Nico closed his eyes, his arms relaxed, and he hugged her back, just for a moment. Then he let go and sat back down.

                “I still want to know why you left without telling us.”

                Nico rolled his eyes. “You’re joking, right? If I had told any of you, Grace would have thrown himself over the door, Hazel would have gotten hysterical, and Percy would have been furious.”

                “You’re right. I know, because when we all realized you had gone, Jason wanted a quest to find you, leaving that very second, Hazel went into your cabin and didn’t come out for days, and Percy broke his cabin.”

                “Broke his cabin? You mean the door?”

                “No, I mean the cabin. He actually tore off the door, and he kicked the wall so hard he caused a crack in the wall, floor to halfway across the ceiling.”

                Nico was stunned. Percy wasn’t a violent person, generally. He couldn’t imagine that his leaving would affect Percy like that.

                “But… why? Why would it make any difference to him?”

                Annabeth took a breath, seeming to temper her words. “Nico, Percy thought you hated him. He had no idea why, but with the role he’s had in all that you’ve gone through he felt responsible for you, for your happiness and to bring you some peace. And Percy thinks a lot of you. You’ve scared the hell – pardon the pun – out of him a few times, but he thinks you’re a good person – he thinks you’re a better person than he is, in fact.”

                Nico scowled. “Why would he think that?”

                “Bob.”

                Nico’s mouth opened to speak, and then closed it again. Percy had said it himself, Nico went back to check on Bob. He was a friend to Bob, when Percy and Thalia never even thought to make sure he was okay. After Tartarus, and Bob’s sacrifice, Percy had been devastated and completely unable to forgive himself.

                “How is he now? Where is he?”

                “Well, once he got a grip on his impulses to be as daring and dangerous as he could possibly be (and that took a while), he settled in New York, with Paul and Sally. He scared them to death when he first came back – Sally said the look in his eyes was terrifying. Lost and hopeless and alone. Paul had to pull her back a few times, she said all she wanted to do was to give him hot chocolate and blue cookies and wrap him in a blanket to rock him to sleep.” Annabeth paused, biting her lip. “About two weeks after he went back to New York, he brought Blackjack out to see me. It was a hard meeting. As soon as I saw him, I knew. I wasn’t his “forever” anymore, and he wasn’t mine. But even so, I knew that I had my best friend back. That helped a lot. Also seeing him look… well… less utterly wild. I knew he was in the right frame of mind to make reasonable decisions. He was here with me for less than a day, and then he went home. Once he was set up in New York, he reconnected with Rachel Dare, and they started hanging out a lot.”

                “Wait, Rachel Elizabeth Dare? Virgin Oracle of Delphi Rachel? She can’t date – wouldn’t that bring down all sorts of plagues or something? ”

                Annabeth smirked, as if the thought had crossed her mind a time or two as well, and she couldn’t hide that little tiny bit of jealousy she harbored.

                “No, they’re not dating. They work together. Percy started to work with the marine wildlife community, and found some really alarming things about the way the marine life is treated. And, if you can believe it, the seaweed brain started the Marine Habitat Preservation Foundation. Rachel, for her part, convinced her father that sponsoring a wildlife support group would be good for his image. They have this little office in Montauk.”

                WOW! Now that was something he did not expect – Percy Jackson the head of a foundation. He found himself smiling. On second thought, it wasn’t such a crazy idea. Percy’s first instincts were always to help someone in need.

After a few minutes of silence, Annabeth blew out a breath and leaned forward. “Okay, so the way I see it, we can sit here and I can catch you up on what I’ve been doing, and the rest of the group, and we can just chat until all hours of the night. Or, and I’m betting this will be our winner, you can shadow travel and go find Percy now. I can tell you where he is.”

Nico stood up and paced. He missed everyone, and he was dying to know how Hazel was. But those FIND HIM NOW instincts had just karate-chopped the FIND THEM ALL instincts and then pulled them into a head lock. His mind tunneled until all he could see was Percy. He looked at Annabeth.

“Will you come with me? I’d rather not go in blind. Or would he be upset?”

Annabeth was shocked at the question. Nico DiAngelo asking for backup? On THIS? She turned and looked at his face. He looked determined and confidant, just like always. But somewhere in his eyes she thought she saw fear. She finally decided to ask him the question she’d been dancing around all day.

“Are you still in love with him, Nico?”

He blushed right to the roots of his long, inky hair and didn’t answer. He turned to his backpack and pulled out the sketchpad with Percy’s picture, offering it to her. Annabeth smiled, sighed and handed the book back to him.

“Let’s go.” Nico held her hand securely, swung the backpack over a shoulder, and folded them into the shadows.

 

 

 

 

               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there!!!


	7. Chapter 7

Nico didn’t know the exact location where Percy and Rachel worked, so he brought them out of the shadows alongside a small, shabby beach house. Annabeth lurched forward a bit, catching her breath and trying to get her bearings. Shadow travelling is not for the faint hearted, and if you’re not used to it, it’s really unsettling for a bit. She shook her head, took a deep breath and looked around. She managed to keep the smile in just her eyes when she recognized the house. Percy and his mom had come here for years, any time they could. It was where Sally had met Poseidon, and thus was very special to Percy. 

“How do you know about this place?”

Nico shrugged. “Percy mentioned it once or twice, so I just thought I’d check it out. Turned out to be a nice place to… think. So I came back every once in a while.”

His excuse didn’t fool either of them, but Annabeth spared his pride and held her tongue. 

“Well, you have amazing direction, because the office is about three blocks from here.”  
They walked down the sand packed driveway in front of the little house and headed south. With each step, Nico’s nerves jangled a little more, and about halfway there he stopped, his head in his hands and a look on his face suggesting he may throw up at any second.

“Hey, you okay Nico? What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know if I can do this, Annabeth.” Nico whispered. “If he’s so mad at me, and he’s got no warning – maybe I should just wait and do this another time, when he’s had some notice.”

Annabeth pulled his elbow sharply so he was facing her. Her face was set and determined, but not angry. 

“Uh uh, no, you’re not backing out now. If you leave now you’ll never come back, and then I’ll have to kill you myself.” She tugged a bottle of water out of a side pocket of his backpack and handed it to him. “Here, drink this and keep walking, death boy, it’s just your nerves.”

Nico took a swig of water and put the bottle back into the side pocket, then turned to Annabeth and said “I don’t even know what I’m going to say to him.”

“Well, ‘Hi Percy’ is always good for me. Nico, maybe it’s better that you don’t know what to say – you’ll be on more even footing. Like you said, it is what it is, and you can’t change that.”

“But…”

Annabeth cut him off sharply with a firm hand gesture. “Nico, do you want to just take me back to my house and forget we ever saw each other, not see Percy at all? Not see Hazel at all?”

“No, but…”

“Then do yourself a favor and remember why you’re here. Gods, you’re acting like a 13 year old girl!”

Nico was about to protest when they heard someone call Annabeth’s name. Rachel Elizabeth Dare came running up to them from behind Nico, beaming and holding her arms as to meet Annabeth in a hug.

“Rachel!” Annabeth said, bringing her own arms out for one of Rachel’s rib-cracking hugs. “You look fabulous, that top is awesome!”

Rachel pulled back and blushed. “I’ve started to do a little bit of urban fashion design on the side, it’s really fun!” She seemed to notice for the first time that Annabeth was standing with someone. “Aren’t you going to introdu…” Rachel’s face went white and her eyes were huge. “Oh wow. Are you who I think you are? I mean, you are, because there really isn’t anyone else who could even pretend to be you, and no one who’d want to, not saying anything against you, but…”

“Rachel,” Annabeth interrupted “Yes, this is Nico DiAngelo, alive and in the flesh. We were just heading over to say hi to Percy, is he in his office?” Rachel looked at Annabeth in shock, but nodded. “Thanks Rach.” Annabeth steered Nico in the direction of another shabby beach cottage further up the road, which Nico now realized had a small sign in the front window that read “Marine Habitat Preservation Foundation”. When he got to the door, he saw a smaller, handwritten note under the sign that read “Donations of money or twelve packs of Coke are appreciated”. He smirked.

Annabeth turned to him. “Wait here, just a minute.” Nico nodded, nervously putting his hands in his pockets. Annabeth pushed open the cottage door and called out “Percy? Hey, Seaweed Brain, where are you?” He caught one glimpse of her face breaking into a smile and then she disappeared into the house.

“Hey Wise Girl! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” came the voice that had stopped Nico’s heart hundreds of times before. 

For just a moment, he couldn’t breathe. He closed his eyes and tried desperately to get his bearings. Distantly he head the sounds of further muffled greetings and he knew they were hugging, but he was frozen, his mind lost in Percy’s voice. Oh gods, he’d forgotten the jolt that went through his body every single time he heard that voice. He was torn between running for his life and just bursting into the room, consequences be damned. His heart raced, and he took several deep breaths to steady himself. In the cabin, the voices had gotten quieter, and he didn’t hear the words clearly for a few minutes. Finally, he heard Percy and Annabeth coming to the door. She was telling him she brought a surprise with her. He steeled himself. Gods, he could NOT fall to pieces now. Annabeth peeked out the front door, and he nodded at her.

“I ran into an old friend.”

Percy was looking at Annabeth as he walked out onto the porch, but his gaze quickly followed hers and settled on Nico. For a few seconds they just stared at each other, and time really did seem to stand still. Percy’s eyes were the exact shade of green Nico remembered, with the same mischievous light. His hair was a shade lighter brown, Nico thought that might be a result of sun-bleaching. His jaw was just a bit angular, and his cheeks slightly hollowed. Nico now stood about a half an inch shorter than Percy, and while Nico was skinny - all long limbs, Percy had a runners build – slim and powerful. His hands were calloused and dirty, and his bright blue t-shirt and khaki bermuda shorts showed streaks of sand, and showed evidence of hard, sweaty work. Nico couldn’t move. His mind stalled out, and he couldn’t remember how to speak.

As Percy had turned to Nico, and for a second once their eyes met, his expression was one of excited expectation. Nico knew the moment Percy realized who he was. His features shifted into an almost neutral expression. His back straightened, and he kept his eyes on Nico’s for a few more seconds. Then, quick as blinking, Nico saw his eyes darken and his face became rigid with fury. Before Nico had a chance to draw breath, Percy pulled back and caught Nico’s jaw with a mean right hook. Nico lost his balance and toppled back over the railing, landing in a small garden that ran the length of the house. Annabeth winced and hopped down the porch step to help Nico up.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Not like you didn’t warn me.”

“WHAT THE HELL, ANNABETH?!” Percy shouted from above them. He seemed to be trying to say something else, but couldn’t find the words, so he settled for repeating himself. “THE HELL, ANNABETH!”

Annabeth turned and walked back up onto the porch steps, holding her hands out in a placating gesture. “Percy, calm down. I ran into him in Minnesota, he’d taken a wrong shadow turn and…”

“A FOUR YEAR WRONG TURN? Maybe I should buy him a freaking MAP!” Percy rounded on Nico, who took a step back in alarm. “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU MISERABLE… you rotton… Aaarrrrggghhh!!!!“ Percy was apoplectic with rage. His face had gone scarlet and his fists were balled so tight his knuckles cracked. He paced the length of the porch a few times, and then turned to Nico again. “Aren’t you going to say ANYTHING?” he spat.

Nico wasn’t sure how to react, so he just used his old standby response of dark humor and sarcasm. “Yeah, I was just planning on waiting until you were done with your little tantrum there. Nice right hook, by the way, glad to see you’re not letting your combat skills get rusty.”

Percy stopped, looking like he’d just been slapped in the face. For a long minute, he just looked at Nico. Then he gained more control, and blew out a deep breath.

“What are you doing here? Why did you come?”

“I wanted to see you.” Nico replied. Then he hurriedly added “I’m hoping to find everyone, actually.”

“I don’t believe you. Why would you want to see any of us? You made it perfectly clear how you felt about us four years ago when you ditched us. Gods, Nico, you didn’t even say goodbye to your sister, the only family you have.”

Percy’s face had become heavy with sadness. 

“I know, Percy. I’m sorry, I really am.”  
Percy gave a short, humorless laugh and shook his head. He looked at Nico speculatively, as if measuring him up. Finally he sighed and turned to go back into the house. Just before the door slammed closed, he caught it and turned his head as fraction of an inch.

“Come in. If I’m gonna beat the crap out of you, I’d rather there not be witnesses.”  
Nico started towards the door, but Annabeth put a hand on his arm.

“Guys, I think I’ll go hunt down Rachel. After this testosterone match, I think I need some girl talk.”

Nico looked at her slightly panicked – he kind of wanted witnesses too. Annabeth just looked at him with a level gaze, patted his arm once, and turned away.

And just like that, Nico was alone with Percy


	8. Chapter 8

 The front room of the house looked like it served as the main work area. There were a few low filing cabinets and two desks in various states of chaos, along with several chairs. One of the desks looked like it was simply serving as a table – it had no chair anywhere near it. The other desk had the only hardback chair in the room – otherwise the seating was all overstuffed easy chairs and a long couch. Percy walked through the main room and into the kitchen, snapping over his shoulder “If you plan to stick around, take off your shoes and sit.” Nico toed off his sneakers and headed for a comfortable looking red chair while Percy rummaged around in the kitchen. After a minute, and a couple of slammed cupboard doors, Percy emerged with two cans of Coke, nearly throwing one at Nico, and sat down in a green plaid chair across the room. His jaw was set and angry, and Nico could feel waves of hostility washing over him. They sat for a few minutes in the awkward silence, until Nico couldn’t take it anymore.

“Nice place.”

"Bite me.” Percy snapped back.

Nico took a deep breath, and put his drink down on a nearby table. He turned to Percy, hands in his pockets, and looked Percy right in the eye. “Look, I know you’re pissed at me, and judging from the right hook I got from you and swipe Annabeth took at me, I’m betting everyone else feels the same way.”

"Damn right, what did you expect? Did you expect to come back here and think you could just waltz in and everything would be hunky dorey?"

Nico stopped him. “Hunky dorey? What in Hades does that mean?”

“Ugh, Nico, I swear to all the gods…”

"Percy, what do you want me to do? I said I’m sorry, and no I don’t expect that to make everything “hunky dorey” Nico used air quotes for this, “but I don’t know what else I can do right now.”

Percy looked at the can in his hands for a long time. Finally he said, without looking up, “Why did you come back?”

"Actually, I kind of came back by accident.” Nico recounted how he had taken a wrong turn while shadow travelling and had run into Annabeth, and how their resultant conversation had made him rethink his choice about severing ties with his old friends and shipmates, though he didn’t go into detail about the one revelation that prompted the thought in the first place. Percy listened in silence, eyes still glued to his Coke can. In a fit of nervous energy, Nico picked up a blue and white wave pattered throw pillow and started spinning and twirling it between his hands as he talked. Finally Percy raised his face and locked eyes with Nico, who immediately put the pillow down. His face still looked angry, but there was a touch of panic to his eyes, as if he were asking a question he didn’t know if he really wanted the answer to.

“Why did you leave in the first place, Nico?”

"Why does it matter, Percy?”

“Was it because of me?”

Nico felt his stomach drop through the floor. He hesitated, and then asked “Why would it have been because of you?”

“Come on, Nico, everyone knew you couldn’t stand me. You wouldn’t look at me, you’d barley talk to me… I thought we’d gotten past that, but after the bronze jar…”

Nico sighed. How was he going to explain this without telling Percy everything? How could he explain that the reason he left was, indeed, Percy, but not because he hated him. He couldn’t stand to be around him, but not for the reason Percy thought. How in all good sweet Hades was he going to tell Percy without telling him the reason under it all?

He couldn’t.

He had two choices. Either he gets up out of this chair and leaves – again – with no explanation as to why. Or, he needed to come clean with Percy. Completely. The former choice was the most appealing. But he knew that it was a fourteen year olds choice, and eventually he needed to stop acting like a teenager. Come what may, the right thing to do was to tell the whole story.

GODS, Nico HATED growing up.

Nico sat forward in his chair and leaned his elbows on his knees. He never thought he would be having this conversation, and frankly he was scared half out of his wits. Oddly enough, the words he began with were the words that had imprisoned him with Cupid.

“I left Camp because of love.” Nico gave a bitter little laugh at the irony.

“So it was me and Annabeth?”

“Yes. But not the way you’re thinking.”

Percy wrinkled his brow. “What does that mean, ‘not the way I’m thinking’? How many ways are there to interpret that?”

“Just the two, I think.” 

"Well then help me out here, because I think I missed a memo somewhere. If it wasn’t you not wanting to see me with Annabeth because you wanted to be with her, what else…” Percy’s sentence drifted off, and his eyes became unfocused. Had Percy been in a better mood, Nico might have made a joke about hearing the hamster just turnin’ that little wheel like crazy.

Percy’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped a little.

“You didn’t ever have that crush on Annabeth.”

"No.”

"It was me.”

Noco nodded, blushing furiously to the roots of his hair and keeping his eyes stubbornly trained on the floor. Percy’s words bubbled inside him, like soda fizz, covering his brain in a layer of undiscernible froth. Finally he looked up at Percy, an expression of vulnerability on his face that he hadn’t shown anyone since Bianca, not since he was ten years old.

"It was you.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who's left comments, kudos, or just simply read any part of the story - THANK YOU!!!

“Excuse me a minute” Percy got up and went back into the kitchen. Nico could hear liquid being poured into a glass, and ice clinking. He came back in the room with two glasses and handed one to Nico. “Jack and Coke. If I’m gonna have my basis for reality messed with, I’m gonna drink while it’s happening.”

“Um, thanks. You know I’m underage, right?”

Percy shot him a particularly fierce “Shut the hell up and drink” glare.

“Okay then. Jack and Coke is my favorite…” His sentence ran out of steam as he watched Percy down the whole glass at once. “Um, I don’t think all that carbonation at once is good for your stom…” Percy let loose a huge belch. “Okay then.”

“All this time, I thought you hated me because of Annabeth. I thought you loved her. I thought I was, once again stomping all over your dreams. All this time, what an ass I’ve been.”

“How do you figure?”

“Well, because you weren’t in love with Annabeth!”

“And you were supposed to know that, how?”

Percy hesitated, thinking. “Well, I guess I wasn’t. I guess, in fact, YOU are the ass.”

“Hey, I was fourteen and didn’t exactly have the best interpersonal skills, okay? Cut me some slack.”

Percy looked at Nico, and his hard, angry expression softened a bit. “You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

Nico gathered his courage, and though he could not bring himself to look Percy in the eye, he said “Percy, I swear it’s true. I swear it on the River Styx.”

“But that doesn’t tell me why you left.”

Again, Nico studied his shoes. “It just got too hard, seeing you two together. And I knew that Camp Jupiter wasn’t far enough, I’d still keep running into you, still hear about you – I needed to break away, because I knew that line of thinking was never going to get me anywhere.”

Percy sighed and got to his feet. Once he stood in front of Nico, he offered his hand as if to shake Nico’s. “I’m sorry I punched you.”

Grasping Percy’s hand and shaking it, Nico said “I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye.”

Then Percy tugged on Nico’s arm, and folded him into a “bromance” hugs. Nico let go of Percy’s hand and reached both arms around Percy – not too close, not too tight, still a “social” hug, but a way to make it last a little longer. For just a moment, Nico closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of salt water and sea life that always clung to Percy, even when he was nowhere near the sea. In that moment he knew he still loved Percy – knew it with absolute certainty. He had thought that time had tempered his feelings, but now, being here with him, seeing him, hearing him… Percy Jackson was the love of his life, and Nico didn’t know if anything, or anyone, could ever change that.

“I’m still pissed at you. I get why you felt like you had to leave, even though you could have told me, and we would have figured something out, but to just disappear like that… to leave Hazel, especially…”

“If I’d have told anyone there’s no way I would have been able to leave. Too many people would have tried to stop me.”

“Yes, because we didn’t want you to go! But we wouldn’t have stood in your way if that was what you needed to do. The camps aren’t prisons, you know.”

Nico shrugged and looked down. “I actually thought I was doing you all a favor, Hazel especially.”

Percy stared at Nico, dumbfounded. “What? Why would you think that?”

“Because she has enough to deal with – Hecate on her case, daughter of Pluto, and the curse of riches – a gay brother was not something I wanted her to have to deal with on top of everything else. Of course, now I know that wouldn’t have been the case, but at the time… I just didn’t want to hurt her. And I was tired of being hurt myself.”

Percy paused a minute. “You know that being gay isn’t something to be ashamed of, right? I mean, none of us would question it at all.”

“I understand that now. Or at least I’m trying to. But it’s still a little hard to actually believe. I’m still working on it.”

Percy paused another moment. “I’ve actually had a couple of dates with guys myself recently. So you know I’m not gonna judge.”

“Annabeth mentioned. She knows about me, by the way. So does Jason.” Percy’s face started to cloud over, looking angry and hurt that Nico would tell Jason and not him. “They both found out by accident, I damn sure didn’t want either of them to know. I didn’t want anyone to know…” His voice trailed off and a sad, lonely expression crossed his face for a moment. Then he seemed to recover himself and he looked up at Percy again.

“Hazel doesn’t know?” Percy asked.

Nico drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I didn’t want anyone to know.” He repeated. “Even Hazel. I didn’t want to take the risk.”

“Risk? What risk, what are you talking about?”

“Let me ask you something, Percy. What did you think of gay people while you were growing up? What did your mom teach you, or your friends or your school?”

Percy took a moment to think before answering. “My mom was always cool about stuff like that. She’s big on the whole ‘not my place to judge’ philosophy, and she’s the only one I know who practices what she preaches. Otherwise, I’m not really sure.”

“I was born in the 1930’s. Back then it wasn’t considered a lifestyle, it was seen as a sickness. Being known to be gay could literally mark you for life. Or cost you your life. I was taught by society that it was wrong, immoral, sick and depraved. I pushed it off, denied it for as long as I could, and when I couldn’t anymore – I ran away. After I left Camp Half Blood, right after Bianca died, I did some poking around, trying to find out if there was a treatment I could use to “cure” myself or something – anything, just so I wouldn’t have to feel this way. That’s when I started to learn that it’s not seen the same way now. But even with the tolerance that’s out there now, there are still people who don’t understand, and who wouldn’t hesitate to tell me I’m “going to hell’. Of course, they have no idea what they’re talking about, but still – it hasn’t been easy, Percy. I've got support now, and I'm getting to the point where I am starting to accept who I am. It's kind of a day by day thing. Trying to unlearn the prejudices...”

“But… it’s not true, Nico. It’s not.”

Nico smiled sadly. “It would be nice if I could just hear those words, and it would change everything. But it doesn’t. It’s better, much better than it was, but it’s not a switch you can flip. You can’t undo years of doubt and shame in a day.”

“Shame?” Percy’s eyes were pained. “Nico, you’ve never done anything to be ashamed of.” After a moment, Percy’s face darkened just a shade, and he whispered “Except leaving us”.

The comment was so soft, he might well have not meant for Nico to hear, But Nico did, and he decided to put a stop to the guilt, here and now.

“Percy, I’m about to tell you something I’ve barely even admitted to myself. It’s personal and difficult, and I’m only going to say it once, so please, for the love of Zeus, please listen to me.

“When I left, I made a bad choice. I took the cowards way out by running, and I hurt literally every person who cared about me, and who I cared about. But, bad as that choice was Percy, it was all I could think to do to make it stop. Every time I saw you, all I could see was love that would never be returned. Seeing you and Annabeth together was nothing short of torture. I don’t mean this to make you feel responsible – you weren’t, you had no way of knowing how I felt, and I made my own decisions, Percy. But I left because I honestly thought it was the only way I could survive. I was fourteen and hormonal and I’ve got Hades DNA, for crying out loud, I’m twenty kinds of messed up from the get-go. And when it came down to it, I couldn’t take the feeling i got when I saw you with her. I couldn’t take it, Percy. It was too much. I’d give anything to take the hurt away I caused, but I don’t know that there is anything else I could have done. I couldn’t take it, Percy. Do you understand? Because I'll stand here until next July if that's what it takes to make you understand. And, much as I know I screwed up, I can't keep having it thrown in my face. It wasn't right, but I had my reasons.”

Percy was silent for several moments, looking up at Nico. Finally, he cocked his head to one side and said, almost too low to hear, “How do you feel about me now?” 

“It’s been a long time, Percy. A lot can change in four years.”

“Hmmm. Funny, I notice that’s still not an answer.”

“Yeah. How about that?”

Percy barked out a laugh – the first genuine laugh that he’d had since Nico arrived. There were a few minutes of rather comfortable silence, and then Percy asked “So, what’s next? Who’s next on the list to visit?”

“I hadn’t really thought past this visit, actually. And, to be honest, I really didn’t think this visit through either.” Percy laughed again. “Honestly, I really want to see Hazel. I’ve missed her, and with her getting married… I want to see my sister.”

Percy nodded. “Want some company?” Nico bristled out of instinct.

“I don’t need a pity partner, I can take care of myself.”

Percy knit his brows and studied him for a moment. “Are you serious about wanting to come back? Wanting to have us in your life again?”

“Of course I am! You think I would have told you if….”

Percy cut across him “Then prove it and shut the hell up, DiAngelo. Friends support each other, and if you want us in your life, you’re gonna need to learn to suck it up. We will be there for you. Accept it or go away.”

Nico smirked, gave a breathy chuckle, and shook his head. After a moment he asked “Are those my only options?”

“’fraid so.”

Nico nodded. “I think I can live with that.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, I had a bit of writers block. Today I spewed out over 4500 words between this and another fic, so I think I may have knocked that block loose. :) Thank you thank you THANK YOU for reading!!!

Chapter Ten

Nico sat back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t realized how much energy, both mental and physical, the last few days had drained from him. Finally being here, seeing Percy, it felt like something had unknotted inside him – like he had been in a constant state of alert, running on adrenalin ever since the moment he had run into Annabeth. It was only three days ago, but it felt like a year had passed.

He looked down at the drink in his hand and shrugged, taking a large mouthful. It burned going down, and he winced. Percy had mixed it really strong. Nico wondered if they both had been that strong – if so, Nico was willing to bet that Percy had just chugged about three shots of Jack Daniels. A soft flush colored Percy’s cheeks that reinforced this opinion.

“So, when do you want to go?” Percy asked.

“Tomorrow, I think. It’s been a long day, I think I need to just crash.”

Percy nodded. “So where are you living now?”

“The underworld, mostly. I don’t have a mortal job, and I spend a lot of time working for my dad, so I usually just stay there. He named me as his first lieutenant after the war, and I do a lot of cooperative training with his legions of shades.”

“Cooperative training?”

“Yeah, it’s a process I came up with a few years ago. I would spend days, sometimes weeks, training with other hero’s, learning their style and technique, using them to improve my own skills. Finally I realized that the shades could be a lot more effective if we could pool our skills. I’m still a commander, you can’t have an army without a solid authority figure, but I try to learn from them while I train them. You wouldn’t believe the difference it’s made.”

“Wow. A first lieutenant, that’s impressive at your age. Though,” Percy added, “not at all surprising, considering… But you don’t have any place to live besides the Underworld?”

“Well, I have a few places I can crash. They’re remote, so I know I’m pretty much alone. I’ve got some sleeping bags and provisions stashed.”

Percy frowned at that. “No offence to your dad or anything, but you should have a place you can go that’s not in the land of the dead. How much time do you spend down there, anyway?”

“Most of it, actually, I just feel like I should be there. And I’ve got nothing to tie me to the mortal world, so…”

“You didn’t have anything. You do now.” Percy interrupted. “There’s no way Hazel will let you go very far for very long once she sees you. You know, I’m not saying this to be a jerk, but you should know how hard it was for her when you left. I don’t know if you really understand how much she loves you, Nico.” Percy paused as Nico blushed and pouted at the floor. “I don’t know if you’ve ever understood how any of us feel about you. You seem to think that you were a disposable relationship – that we could be the same family with or without you. We can’t Nico. You mean a lot to us. You mean a lot to me. You trained with me, you fought with me, you fought against me a time or two, and I’m not gonna pretend that I understood you all the time. Not even most of the time. But I’m not all that clear on what makes Piper tick most of the time, but she’s one of my family. So are you.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said that – family – and Annabeth mentioned it too. What the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t you remember? You were there for this one, I know you were… After the final camp negotiations at Camp Jupiter, they hosted a huge bonfire to celebrate the peace settlement. But our crew couldn’t celebrate, not after we lost Reyna.”

Nico nodded, lost in his own memories. Reyna had been lured into a trap by that weasel Octavian, who ran her through in one stroke and left her there to die. Frank had seen what happened, and he reacted with furious rage. He transformed into three different animals. First, a rattlesnake that peppered Octavian’s feet with fang punctures, then a bear that tore a huge chunk out of his stomach. Last he became an eagle, lifting Octavian to the top of a large sycamore tree and leaving him there to die – far from where he could hurt anyone else. This action had worried the others, and it had terrified Hazel. Frank was a fierce warrior, but had never been prone to that kind of vindictive violence. Afterward, Annabeth had asked him why he took such drastic measures. He had looked at her in confusion.

“He killed my family. Reyna may not have been the easiest leader to follow, but she came to us when we needed her. She fought with us, fought as one of us. She risked her life, sacrificed her pegasys, and she was a part of our team. My team is my only family now, and I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone so much as lay a finger on any one of you.”

Emotion like that was not typical of Frank, and when he was done he sagged, like the speech had drained him. The group had looked at one another and realized – Nico had Hazel, Percy, Annabeth, Jason, and Piper had mortal parents, step parents, or siblings, and Coach had Melli, but Leo and Frank had absolutely no one left they could call family outside of their group. And none of them had family that understood what it’s like to be a half-blood. Frank was right – they were each others family now. Nico just hadn’t seen how that decision had panned out.

"I remember.”

"You’re a part of that family, Nico.”

Nico closed his eyes and sighed. “I’m getting tired, I’d better head back to the Underworld while I can still shadow travel.”

"Uh, I hate to tell you this, man, but you look like you might pass out any second. I don’t think you’ll be shadow traveling anywhere until you can get some rest. Here…” Percy tossed him a set of keys. “You can crash at my place, get some rest, and then you can go see Hazel. If you want, I’ll come with you, but it’s your call on that one. I might not want to witness the bloodshed, actually.”

Nico yawned. “What bloodshed?”

“Yours, once Hazel gets her hands on you.”


	11. Chapter 11

Nico took Percy up on his offer of a real bed with actual sheets that wasn’t surrounded by spirits of the dead. Percy had a second bedroom that Nico could crash in, and he was pretty much asleep instantly. He slept through to the next day, and woke up disoriented. He wasn’t used to sleeping that heavily, and it took him a minute to remember where he was. Once he got his bearings, he realized that he hadn’t had any nightmares – which probably explained why he slept so deeply. He glanced at a small alarm clock on the nightstand, and saw that it was 10:13am. He’d been out for about 19 hours. He squinted and checked again. He never slept more than five or six hours at a time. Yep, 10:13am. “Damn,” he thought, “did someone hit me upside the head?” He ran his fingers through his hair and headed out into the kitchen. Percy was gone, but had left a note.

_Headed to work, there’s food in the fridge (don’t touch it if it looks like it’s moving). Shower’s in the bathroom through my room, towels in the hall cubby, check my closet if you want fresh clothes. Head on over when you wake up. – P_

Nico smiled briefly at the casual nature of the note. Percy had signed it simply – P, like they were roommates or something. _“Or something…”_ he thought, his mind slipping into that place Nico usually kept closed, locked, barricaded and bricked shut. Realizing his mistake, he pulled himself out quickly. He looked at the note, and shook his head, amazed. Percy just let him into his life, like the last four years had never happened. Here, have a bed and a shower and breakfast, no worries that you ditched us all for almost half a decade – want some fruit? His heart twisted a little with the guilt, but he shook his head again and put the note down. Breakfast and a shower sounded really good.

Half an hour later, Nico headed up the road to the cabin that served as Percy and Rachel’s office. He had eaten, showered, and was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and a pair of ratty jeans from Percy’s closet. He was surprised at how well they fitted him, though it was weird not wearing a shirt that was black. Nico didn’t own anything that didn’t have at least some black on it.

He walked up to the door and knocked. The screen door was closed, but the main door was open, and Rachel looked up and smiled at Nico through the screen. “C’mon in, Nico!” she called. As he opened the door, Percy rolled a chair from a back room and smiled.

“Hey man, you look much better.”

“Thanks.” Nico said, a bit wryly. He looked around the room, paying closer attention than he had yesterday. Flyers and sample PSA’s about pollution, poaching, and animal rights covered the walls, and a short range radio station was set up in one corner. The room Percy had come out of looked like it was a private office, which caught Nico off guard. Percy having an office – that was just weird. Choosing one of the chairs along the north wall, he sat down and asked “So, what is it exactly that you guys do here?”

Rachel gave a sly smile. “Well, I work with local government and civil advocacy groups, spearhead fundraising committees, and keep the power on. Percy pretty much just goes swimming.”

“Hey, you’re welcome to take over the marine communication, just as soon as you learn to talk to them.” Percy countered. Rachel stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to Nico.

“Has he given you our backstory here yet?” Nico shook his head. Rachel shot a pointed look at Percy.

"Rachel, we had a few other things to talk about!”

“I know – it’s just that it’s usually the first thing out of your mouth.” Rachel looked sideways at Nico. “This is Percy’s baby, he’s stupid proud of it.” She paused, then added, “As he should be.” Percy gave her a small smile.

“After the war, I wasn’t sure what to do next. Chiron gave me the chance to stay on as a counselor and trainer at Camp Half Blood, and Frank made a similar offer in New Rome, but…” he trailed off and was silent for a moment before going on, taking on a much more subdued tone. “I had kind of a rough time for a while after the war. Took me some time to get my head together. My dad pulled some underwater strings and helped me get my cabin for a while. He said it was the least he could do, since I kinda saved the world. Twice.”

“At least I’m not the only one with a powerful father. But we have him to thank for our funding. Or at least his love of good PR.” Rachel interjected.

Percy nodded at her. “Once my head was cleared out a little I started to notice things around me, things that really bugged me. I’ve been more sensitive to the welfare of the marine life around me, supernatural and otherwise, since Atlanta and you have no idea how badly humans have misused and abused the sea and sea life.” His cheeks colored, and anger flickered in his eyes. “I started talking to any sea creature I could, and finding out what has been happening, and what I could do to help. It got to be too big of a project for one person, though. I needed materials, money, access to media and government, but I had no idea how to get it.”

“Enter Rachel, stage right.” Rachel raised her hands with a flourish. “It took a little tap dancing, but I was able to convince my dad that putting his name, and his money, behind a conservation effort like this would take some of the pressure off him from the environmental activist community. He also saw it as a way to get me into the ‘family business’, which he’s been pushing hard since high school. I had to agree to spend three months ‘mentoring’ with him,” Rachel used air quotes, along with a roll of her eyes, to emphasize her opinion of that particular term, “but then he gave us the financial backing we needed.”

“And the power of the ‘Dare’ name. Much as I hate what Dare Enterprises has been doing to the land, I have to admit that we couldn’t have made the changes we’ve made without that name behind us.”

Rachel continued, “Dad created an environmental services subsidiary of Dare Enterprises, and gave me financial control. He still oversees all of our transactions, but he’s had so much good press from the MHPF that he pretty much lets us do whatever we want to.”

Nico raised his eyebrows. “Wow… he must really trust you, to give you freedom like that.”

Rachel nodded, and said “Yes, he does. But he does throw in the occasional reminder that he has visibility to all of our business dealings, monetarily and otherwise.”

“And he won’t allow me anywhere near the main accounts. Rachel is the only one who has access.” Percy added, a very slight tinge of bitterness creeping into his tone. Rachel frowned a little, like this topic made her feel guilty. Percy blushed. “Sorry, Rache, didn’t mean to…”

"Shut it, Jackson,” she said with a wink, “I know you love the fact that you don’t have to deal with any of this crap.”

“Touché.” Percy said, shooting her a glance that was both apologetic and grateful.

“Anyway, we’ve done a lot of work locally, and in the past six months we’ve set up three satellite locations, working on both the East and West coasts. We also bought the land these cabins are on, Percy and I each have one to call ‘home’, we have this office, and then six other cabins we use for visitors, activists, lobbyists – anyone who needs it, really.”

 

Nico whistled. “Man, that’s seriously impressive.” Percy made a dismissive noise, but Nico saw pride in his face just the same. Rachel sighed and stood up.

"Okay boys, I’m meeting Annabeth for lunch. Try not to blow anything up today, okay? Pretty please?” Percy rolled his eyes

“Gods, Rachel, it was one time, and Leo was here!” Rachel laughed and waved goodbye as she picked up a small bag from a coat rack and headed out the door. Percy smiled and waved back. After the door closed, he looked down at his clasped hands. “She’s been a godsend – literally. After Annabeth and I broke up I damn near lost my mind. She saved my life, she really did. And since she’s still the Oracle of Delphi, there’s no romantic pressure. She set me up with my first date after Annabeth.” He laughed quietly. “A really nice guy, but his priorities were a little whacked.”

Nico’s head seemed to get all tingly at that. His stomach twisted itself in nervous knots, and he felt slightly punch drunk. He hesitated, and then gathered up his courage and asked “So, you’re bi, then? When did you know?” His heart hammered in his chest as he waited for Percy’s answer. Percy’s face clouded, and he kept his eyes on his hands.

“That, my old friend, is a long story.”


	12. Chapter 12

“I said before that I had a hard time for a while… that’s kind of an understatement. I got mad. Like, really, REALLY mad. I was always looking for a fight, and if I couldn’t find one, I’d make one. It was bad, man, and for a long time. At one point, I stayed with Annabeth for a while. Luckily she didn’t hold my insanity against me. When we broke up, she told me I’d always been her best friend, and I always would be.” Percy paused, lost in thought for a moment, then muttered, “I’m amazed she didn’t kick me to the curb, but I’m telling you, that girl is amazing. She kept putting up with me, and let me work out what I needed to.” 

“While I was there, I met a friend of hers named Adam. He was as gay as the day is long in June, and I was crazy about him. It scared me at first, scared the hell out of me because it was the first time I’d really actively ‘like’ liked a guy, know what I mean? I’d had passing thoughts about guys before, but not like this. Oh, and get this, he was a RPG card collector, he played a mortal version of Mythomagic called ‘Magic the Gathering’. He was an insane collector, gods help you if you so much as breathed n a card the wrong way.” Percy laughed to himself briefly, and then paused. His eyes looked unfocused, like his mind was a million miles away. Nico steadied his breathing. A fierce pang of jealousy pulsed through him, but he forced himself to stay centered with Percy.

“I spent a lot of time with him, and while I was with him I felt invincible. But when I wasn’t with him, I was confused, and that made me even angrier than I was before. Annabeth finally called me on it, and pointed out ‘Hello, you have a crush on him, duh!’, and I realized that was why I had been feeling so confused. I was with Annabeth for so long and we were so much to each other that it never occurred to me that I’d even like anyone else. The fact that Adam was a guy threw me for a loop. Of course, not much I did around then make much sense anyway. When I realized I was bi, it felt like it was something I’d known before but didn’t know I knew. That doesn’t make sense, but it’s the only way I can explain it. Adam was a really good friend, he flat out told me that he wasn’t attracted to me, but supported me in every way he could.” His voice faltered, and he whispered “Gods, I miss him.”

Nico’s hands actually balled into fists. How in Hades could this guy not have been attracted to Percy? Was he blind? Stupid? Insane? He took another deep breath, not wanting to interrupt Percy, wanting to know everything even while he didn’t want to know anything. 

“He taught me so much, Nico. He helped me see so much about myself. As he put it, ‘Percy doesn’t care about the plumbing, he cares about the water’. I felt safe with him, in some ways even safer than I felt with Annabeth. I was more comfortable in my own skin than I had been for years.”

Percy raised his face, but did not look at Nico, his eyes resting on a point across the room. “I was starting to get better, not to be as angry and reckless, but I was still lashing out. A lot. Adam knew Annabeth and I were half-bloods, and he was the only one in Redwood Falls who did. One night he and I were walking back to Annabeth’s place from the coffee shop, when I spotted an empousai feeding on someone in the woods. I only saw them because the mist flickered over her hair for a second, and I saw the flames. I uncapped Riptide and ran to them, ready to fight. Just before I got to the empousai, she dropped the guy she had been feeding from and laughed. There was something about that laugh that was different; it was personal. I turned back and saw Adam with another empousai, this one looked like a guy through the mist, reaching out to him. Adam looked like he was in a trance, and the empousai was pulling him in. I swear to all the gods Nico, I don’t think my feet touched the ground trying to get to him.” Percy’s voice started to rise in pitch, becoming more unstable. “The kiss had just started when I got to them and pushed Adam away. I rolled and fell, and lost my bearings. When I got up, I panicked, I..I just swung.” Nico’s stomach dropped. Oh gods…

“It had pulled him up and was using him as a shield. I tore right through them both.”

Nico was stunned. He didn’t know what he could possibly say. He couldn’t tell Percy “It was an accident” or “It wasn’t your fault”, because he knew it didn’t make any difference that it was an accident – and it was Percy’s fault. Now he understood why Annabeth hadn’t expanded on the circumstances when she told Nico that Percy had killed a mortal. He knew Percy well enough to know that he was shredding himself into little pieces every day over this. The fact that he had loved the guy who died would’ve just made it SO much worse. The seconds ticked by like hours, with the two of them sitting in silence. Finally Percy looked at Nico and sat forward.

“Yeah, I know. Not much anyone can say.”

“I’m sorry, Perce.” He reached out a hand and touched Percy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

Percy covered Nico’s hand with his own for a moment, and their eyes met. Nico saw Percy processing what he couldn’t say, and knew that he understood. A flicker of gratitude passed through Percy’s face, followed by a brief expression that looked almost like peace.

Then they both pulled back. Percy’s face was drawn and grey, and was now unbearably sad. “Yeah, well, not like I can undo it. All I can do is try and honor him by going forward, doing what I know he’d want me to do.” He shrugged helplessly. Then he shook his head a little and stood up. “Well, what are we waiting for? New Rome’s not going to send itself here.” 

He looked at Nico and asked “You ready to go see your baby sister?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeheeheeheeheeeeeeee.... :)

Nico hesitated for a moment. Percy had just shared something so personal, so devastating; downshifting from it so fast gave Nico a sense of vertigo. He looked at Percy steadily for a minute, and said “We don’t have to leave right now, you know.” Percy smiled at him a little, looking grateful but determined.

“Yeah, I think we should. She really will flip when she sees you. That’ll be nice to see.”

Nico nodded, then hesitated again. “Hey, how is Annabeth getting home? Don’t I need to take her?”

Percy shook his head. “She’s going to hang out with Rachel for a day or so, and then if we’re not back for you to take her she’ll just take Blackjack. I know she called some friends at home yesterday to let them know she was ‘called out of town’, and that she’ll be home tomorrow.” Nico nodded.

“Do you think we should IM her first? I’ll admit, I wasn’t crazy about my reception from either you are Annabeth, I’m not sure my face is going to hold up through another punch.”

Percy smiled but shook his head. “Let’s just go. It’ll be fine.” He held out his hand. For a moment, Nico was confused. Did Percy want to hold hands or something? Then   
Percy raised his eyebrows. “Shadow travel?” Nico mentally chastised himself for the falter, and took Percy’s hand. Percy snickered softly. Nico blushed and gave Percy a dirty look, then led the way through the door to Percy’s office, and folded them into the shadow of the door.

 

They emerged at the foot of a large tree not far from the Little Tiber. Nico blinked as they stepped into the bright sun and shaded his eyes until they could adjust. A cohort was running drills in the field to their far right, and another was running laps in the distance. Percy had lost his footing when they folded out, and stumbled over his own feet, landing in the grass. It was Nico’s turn to snicker, and Percy rolled his eyes as he stood back up. “Shut it, DiAngelo.” He grumbled. 

“You’ve been spending too much time with Rachel.” Nico said, still chuckling. 

“Hey, look over there, it’s a road, let’s follow it.” Percy said sarcastically and started toward the camp. Nico fell into step behind him, and they headed to the praetors quarters to find Frank. They had only gone about 100 feet when a voice called out.

“Hey, Percy, what in Hades are you doing here!”

They turned to see Frank Zhang jogging toward them. His face was covered in a broad smile, but it faltered as he recognized Nico. He stopped dead in his tracks, a blank look coming over his features. He just stood there, stunned and staring at Nico.

“Hey man, good to see you!” Percy called, closing the distance between them and reaching a hand out. Frank did not reach back. He did not speak. He just stared at Nico.

As a rule, Nico was not easy to spook. Being a child of Hades, he routinely encountered some very nasty beasties, not to mention hostile spirits. It took a lot to rattle him, or even slow him down. But the look that was coming across Frank’s face actually made him pause in apprehension. Frank’s eyes were hard to read. Nico wasn’t sure if they were shocked or angry or if Frank had simply decided to murder him.

“Hey Frank, you’re looking good…” Nico ventured. He thought about resuming his stride – then decided against it. Frank just stared at him, and his look was starting to get angry. Very angry. Very quickly.

“Hey Frank, you okay?” Percy asked in an exaggerated tone. Frank looked from Nico to him, then back at Nico.

“You will stay here.” Frank said, in a deep, commanding tone. “You will not move.”

Then, without another word or gesture, Frank was gone, and a bald eagle was soaring up into the sky from where they stood. Nico whistled low and started to walk towards Percy.

“DUDE, STOP.”

Nico froze. “Percy, I don’t think he meant we couldn’t move at all, just that we have to stay in this area.”

Percy looked at Nico with his eyebrows raised. “You really want to take that chance?” Nico thought a moment. Frank was not, by definition, a threatening guy. But he also didn’t usually walk around with that “I’m going to pound you into a dumpling” look on his face. And he didn’t need to change into an animal to cause some significant damage. Nico nodded and stepped back to the exact same place he had been standing.

“Fair point.”

They waited in silence for a few minutes. Then Percy commented “On second thought, maybe we should’ve IM’d them.” 

“Thanks, Percy, that’s helpful.” Nico said flatly. They fell again into silence. Nico closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to steady his nerves. He hadn’t even begun to think of what to say to her. How was he going to explain? How was he going to apologize? Would she forgive him? He didn’t know. After what Percy told him about how hard Hazel took it when he left, he wasn’t sure he would ever forgive himself. His stomach started to twist unpleasantly, and he broke out into a fine sweat. 

“Incoming.” Percy said quietly after what seemed a very long time. In the distance, he saw Frank and Hazel walking towards them. Well, Frank was walking. Hazel was storming. Even from this distance, Nico could see a path, an actual path of gold, silver, and precious stones shimmering in her wake. Percy gulped and said “Oh, crap.” Nico didn’t need to ask why – Hazel was all kinds of pissed off. She had developed almost perfect control of her summoning powers, so if she was losing control like this she had to be mad as all Hades. Sure enough, as soon as she was in hailing distance, her voice cracked out like a whip.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU THOUGHTLESS MORONIC JACKASS?”

“Uh, hey Hazel…” Nico said, lamely. “How’s it…”

“NO! YOU DO NOT GET TO TALK TO ME, YOU STUPID INCONSIDERATE ASSHAT!”

Just as Hazel stepped in front of him, Nico made a mistake. A really, really stupid mistake. He glanced sideways at Percy to judge his reaction to this very out of character level of rage coming from his sister. In that moment, Hazel wound up and punched Nico square in the jaw, right below his ear.

When Nico first brought Hazel to Camp Jupiter, he worried about how she would cope. She had wicked brains, and he knew she would do well in battle, but she didn’t have much physical strength. Even during the war with Gaea, her power was more in her ability to use her mind. She could hold her own with a sword, but she fought even her physical battles with an eye to her opponent’s attention, capitalizing on their weak spots and going for the unexpected moves. But in the time since he had last seen her, Hazel had apparently been doing some advanced physical training, because that punch was one of the hardest and best placed blows he had ever seen, much less felt. Pain exploded in his head, and his ear felt like the eardrum may have been torn. He sailed back and landed sideways in the grass, yelling out in agony. Percy started toward him, but Hazel flicked an arm in his direction, and a huge ruby shot from just in front of her feet and hit Percy hard in the shoulder. Frank, who had stopped just behind Hazel, put his hand on her shoulder as if to restrain her, but she jerked her shoulder out of his grip and shot him a hard look. Frank looked slightly alarmed and lowered his hand.

“Hey!” Percy complained, rubbing the spot where he’d been hit. Hazel ignored him and stared at Nico, who was trying to stand up again. The punch had messed with his sense of balance, and he wobbled back down to one knee. Taking another deep breath, Nico tried again to stand, and this time made it all the way up. He wanted to rub his aching jaw, which had now been hit with three, count them, THREE powerful blows, but he suppressed the urge. Hazels eyes looked like they were electrified, the metallic specks in them actually glowed a brilliant gold.

Then, something happened that Nico had not expected. The massive, colossal guilt and shame of the pain he had caused her flooded over him. Oh gods, what had he done to her? He’d left her. This was his sister, and he’d left her.

Just like Bianca had left him. Not even a look back.

Nico’s eyes filled with tears, and his chin wobbled. An ugly, wet sound that was half sob, half moan of grief came out of him, and he drew his arms up in front of him, as if he were physically holding his heart in his chest.

Percy and Frank were both utterly dumbfounded. They looked at Nico like he was from outer space, seemingly unable to comprehend such a reaction coming from him. Even Hazel’s furious expression faltered. Nico tried to say her name, but it came out as a choked gurgling sound. Then any restraint he might have had shattered and he began to sob in earnest. Hazel’s face crumpled like paper, and she threw herself forward onto her brother, crying along with him. She held him with every bit as much force as she’d used to punch him, and she did not let go. Nico wrapped his arms around her and moved his head so that his (as of yet) uninjured cheek was resting on her shoulder.

“You’re such an asshat.” She sobbed. Nico laughed through his tears into her shoulder.

“Agreed.”


	14. Chapter 14

It took Percy and Frank a minute or two to recover from being so thoroughly stunned. Percy looked over at Frank and asked “Did we just enter the Twilight Zone?” Frank shrugged, looking kind of overwhelmed and very anxious. He reached forward again and touched Hazels shoulder. Hazel broke one hand away from Nico and reached back to Frank, catching his and squeezing as if to say “I’m okay.” before letting go and once again hugging her brother. The worried expression Frank wore morphed into a steady, serious gaze. He most definitely did not look happy. 

Hazel and Nico continued to hold each other, tears streaming down their faces until patches of moisture showed on both of their shoulders. “Nico, gods Nico…” Hazel whimpered, and Nico redoubled his grip on her. He didn’t dare trust his own voice. Neither of them seemed at all interested in letting go. In fact, they seemed to have forgotten anyone else was there. 

After a few minutes, Percy stepped hesitantly to the side and said “Hey, Frank, how ‘bout I buy you a coffee?” Frank looked doubtfully at Percy, and it was clear as day that he didn’t want to leave Hazel. “We’ll meet you guys in our regular coffee shop, okay?” Percy said, looking at Frank meaningfully. Frank still looked unhappy, but nodded once.  
“Hey, if you need me…” He trailed off, realizing that she wasn’t paying attention to anything that wasn’t Nico. His angry expression was tinged with hurt for just a moment, but he nodded and turned to Percy. “Lead the way.”

It was several more minutes before Nico and Hazel broke their hug. They were both still crying, but they had regained some control over themselves. Hazel took Nico’s hand and sat down in the grass, pulling him down beside her.

“Again, you are an asshat.”

“I’m sorry, Hazel. I’m so sorry.” Nico whispered. 

“Why, Nico?” she whispered back. She gripped his hand a little tighter and rested her forehead on his, her eyes closed. “Why?”

Nico took a deep breath. He knew this was coming, but he still didn’t know how he was going to explain. Hazel drew her head back and looked at Nico, who still had not opened his eyes. She touched his aching cheek and wiped his tears away with her thumb. “There isn’t anything you can’t tell me, Nico. Why did you leave?”  
Nico opened his eyes and focused his gaze on Hazel. “I was in love, Hazel. I was in love with someone I couldn’t ever have, and it was too hard. It hurt too much, Hazel, and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, and…”

“Minotaur dung.” Hazel interrupted, anger momentarily flaring back into her voice. “You could have talked to me, Nico.” He voice softened a bit as she added, “Why didn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t you trust me, Nico?”

“I was ashamed, Hazel. And I was scared. And it hurt so much…” Nico’s throat tightened and his voice faltered.

Hazel’s eyes softened. “Annabeth?”

Nico drew in a breath, looked away from her for just a moment, and then looked straight into her eyes.

“Percy.”

Hazel looked for a moment life she hadn’t understood him. Then her eyes widened in comprehension, and she let out a ragged breath. Her hand tightened on his face, and he winced in pain. She gave a soft moan of apology and moved to cup his non-pummeled cheek with her other hand. She held his face, looking at him with pain and love and sorrow. He looked down at the ground, and they sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Finally Hazel spoke.

“Nico. Gods, Nico. You really are an idiot. Did you think I would judge you? Did you think I wouldn’t understand? For that matter, do you know NOTHING about the Greek and Roman gods?” She grunted in frustration and gripped his cheek harder. “You and I may come from a different time, Nico, but one thing we CAN thank our godly family for is that they know that love is love.” She placed a hand over his heart. “I know that too, Nico. Do you?”

Nico tried to respond, but his face crumpled again. Fresh tears ran down his face. He had needed to hear that for so long. Of course, he had heard the message from several people. But coming from Hazel, who was the only one who could even start to understand where he came from and why it caused him so much anguish, it was a balm that soothed the sting of the ragged hole he kept tearing into himself.

Gods, he really was an asshat, wasn’t he? 

“I don’t pretend to understand what you’ve gone through. But, for Zeus’ sake, how could you think I would judge you, Nico? After everything I did, after you rescued me, and you thought I would judge you on whether you like boys or girls? Gods, you’re my brother, I love you!” Hazel’s teeth clenched so hard Nico actually heard them click, and she gave another frustrated growl. “You went through this alone… you didn’t have to, I would have been there for you, you moron!”

“I’m so sorry, Hazel. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt anyone.” Nico closed his eyes and whispered “I’m so sorry, Hazel.”

A look of conviction crossed Hazel’s features. “I believe you, Nico. But I need you to promise me something.”

“What?”

“You’ll never do it again. If you have demons, if you’re in pain, I don’t care what’s going on, you come to me and I will help you. But you will never leave like that again. Swear it.”

Nico nodded and raised her one better. “I swear it on the River Styx.”

Hazel inclined her head back to him. “Then that’s the end of it. Let it go. No more pain because of this, not because of us.”

Nico hung his head. “I’m not sure if I can do that.”

Hazel gripped his chin and pulled his face up to meet hers. “Figure out a way. You and I are good. Frank and I are getting married, and I need my brother with me. I prayed to… no, I actually begged to any god or goddess I could think of to help me find you before the wedding, to help you find your way home again. I want you back in my life, and I don’t want this as a wall between us.” Her expression softened. “Please.”

Nico nodded. “Thank you.” Hazel shook her head. 

“Now, do I need to kick Percy’s ass? Cause if I need to, I will, he doesn’t scare me.” A light of humor colored Hazels eyes, but her tone was clear. No one would mess with her brother. Nico laughed.

“No, no ass kicking’s necessary. He never knew. He does now, though.”

Hazel started, like she had just realized something. “You said that you were in love with someone you could never have. Do you know that’s not strictly true? ‘Cause his playing field has… uh… widened a bit.” 

Nico nodded again and said “Yeah, that’s what I hear. I think for now I’ll just concentrate on trying to keep people from punching me. So far you, Percy and Annabeth have all clocked me in roughly the same place. I need to learn to duck or I’m gonna need reconstructive surgery.” He grinned at her for a moment, then his face became serious again. “I love you, Hazel.” She smiled at him, the tears finally gone from her eyes, and hugged him again.

“Welcome home.”


	15. Chapter 15

Nico and Hazel took a few more minutes just to sit and be near each other. Nico hadn’t realized how much of a toll it had taken on him to shut down the part of him that craved connection with his sister. After a few minutes, though, he began to feel a little antsy, and they decided to go hunt down Percy and Frank. 

“Hey, speaking of Frank… how mad is he at me, exactly? Cause I thought for a minute there that he was going to kill me.” Hazel pursed her lips and did not answer right away. They walked in silence for a few more moments before she spoke.

“Don’t worry about Frank, Nico. I’ll talk to him.” Nico noticed that she had avoided answering his question, but nodded and let the subject drop.

They found the boys sitting in an outdoor café. As soon as Frank spotted them, he stood and started towards Hazel. She smiled at him and held up a hand to stop him, but   
she picked up the speed a bit and trotted to close the distance between them, reaching one hand and grasping his as soon as she was within reach. Frank mumbled something too low for Nico to hear, but Hazel smiled and nodded, kissing him on the cheek and resting her chin on his shoulder for a few seconds. He wrapped his other arm around her and held her tight. 

“Here, I got your coffee.” He said, turning to pick up a white and blue to-go cup sitting on the table.

“Thanks,” Hazel replied, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second please?” Frank knit his eyebrows but nodded, and Hazel led him just outside the smattering of tables.

“You look like hell, man.” Percy noted. 

“Such a charming man, you are.” Nico replied sarcastically. Percy smiled back at him.

“Yeah, but you still liked me.” Percy spoke in a friendly, teasing tone, and Nico only hesitated a second before he matched the taunt with the same tone and inflections.

“Hey, never said I had any taste.” Percy laughed, and then quieted. After a few seconds, he asked, “No, but seriously, you were kind of… um… sobbing when I left. I’ve never seen you like that before man, are you okay?”

Nico blushed and looked down. He could feel the tips of his ears heating up. “I’ve never seen me like that either, but yeah, I’m okay.”

“And Hazel? She looked…um… scary.”

“And you weren’t even on the receiving end of it. We talked it out, I think. She’s pretty determined to put this in the past, especially with the wedding coming up. What about Frank, did he say anything to you about this?”

“Dude, he didn’t say anything about anything. NOT typical for him.” Percy and Nico both looked over at Hazel and Frank. Hazel had her hand on his arm, and seemed to be trying to soothe him. Frank still scowled but he nodded his head. Hazel stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, then on the nose, then on the lips. He smiled a little at that, and her grin lit her whole face. They walked back to the table holding hands.

“We’re back.” Hazel said, sitting between Nico and Frank. She gave a small gasp and turned to Frank, putting a hand on one of Nico’s, “Oh, gods, I totally forgot! Nico’s gay. Just FYI.” Percy, who had been taking a drink at that moment, spit coffee all over the table. Nico just sat there, stunned and staring at Hazel. “What? Someone had to tell him, if I left it up to you it’d be next June before you got around to it.” 

“I… uh, I…” Nico stammered. Then he looked at Hazel, who was smiling up at him. “Aw, Hades, you’re probably right.” Hazel giggled.

“Plus it’s a good way to prove to you that it’s fine with everyone else, no one’s going to care.” She turned to Frank, “Frank, do you care whether Nico’s gay or straight?”

Frank looked at her, a little confused. “Why would I care?”

Nico piped up, a little defensively, “Because a lot of people do, and they aren’t very quiet about it.”

Frank looked at Nico, still nonplussed. “Do those people have Greek or Roman gods or goddesses for parents? Because if they do, someone needs to break it to them that their godly parent is not only fine with the various aspects of sexuality, but has most likely been an active participant in most of those aspects. Calm down, DiAngelo, it’s not a big deal here.”

Nico looked at Frank, angry and unsure of how to respond. Frank had no idea what he was talking about, and Nico was not a fan of having his concerns dismissed as if he were foolish to have them in the first place. Who did Frank think he was, anyway? But as Nico’s anger simmered inside him, a small voice in the back of his head whispered that Frank’s anger might actually have to do with something else entirely. He forced himself to take a deep breath (and then another, and then one more), and changed the subject.

“So, when is the wedding?”

Hazel beamed and her eyes sparkled as she turned to him. “November 16th. We wanted to have the wedding here, but once Aphrodite got wind of the engagement she insisted on performing our ceremony, and the venue was changed to the Grand Garden on Olympus.”

Nico scowled at this. “That’s not fair, you should be able to get married wherever you want.”

Hazel shrugged, “Nah, it’s fine. Having it on Olympus means we don’t have to pay for anything, and Annabeth is designing a chapel house that will stay as a permanent structure for other weddings, official blessings, stuff like that. Besides, I only have one thing I really care about, and that’s the guy waiting at the end of the aisle.” She smiled at Frank, and blushed. Nico looked at his sister with a sense of deep respect. She wasn’t about the flowers and the dress, like so many girls on TV and in the movies. Hazel just wanted Frank, and everything else was window dressing. He was so proud of her in so many ways. On the Argo II, he kept thinking there couldn’t be any way he could think more of her, and she kept proving him wrong. She was still doing it. 

“A wedding on Olympus – Dad must be just thrilled about the trip.” Nico said sarcastically. Then he added, in a conspiratorial whisper “Or is that part of the benefit?”

Hazel’s face fell a little and she looked at the table. “I don’t think he’s coming. I don’t think he can, with the whole ‘pretending he doesn’t know I’m not dead’ thing and all. I don’t even know if he knows.” She tried to keep her voice airy, but Nico watched her face carefully. They both had issues with their father, but Nico was pretty sure that Hazel still wanted him there when she got married. Hazel straightened up and turned back to Nico, hurriedly changing the subject.

“So, enough about us, tell us what you’ve been doing. Where do you live, first of all?”

“The only permanent place I have is with Dad, but I…”

“Oh yeah, stop right there. No.” Hazel cut across him in a tone that suggested it was in his best interest to shut up.

“Um…. No?”

“No. Absolutely not. No. I can’t get to you in the underworld, and while I know you have to spend time there for whatever crap our fabulous father has you doing, you will   
NOT live there permanently.”

“Well, Hazel, I’m not spoiled for choices over here – I don’t have a job that pays mortal money, and thus not a good way to obtain an apartment. Besides, where would I live? I’ve got you here, but I don’t want to live in New Rome – or New Athens,” he added, glancing at Percy, “I want to make a fresh go of it when I move topside.”

“Topside?” Hazel asked.

“Slang for the world of the living – topside and soulside, see?”

Hazel shook her head a little and said “Okay, whatever, you’re not living in the Underworld. We’ll figure something else out.”

“Actually, if you want, you can stay with me.” Percy said. Nico’s heart performed a treacherous tap dance at these words, and he tried in vain to keep the blush from his face. “In one of our guest cabins, I mean. Until you have a more permanent place.”

Nico wasn’t sure how to respond. The tap dance his heart was performing turned into an Irish stomping routine. He needed to respond very carefully, or else he may well turn into that overeager ten year old kid again, like Sarah had been, but much more annoying. Nico latched on to the mental change of subject.

“Hey, do you remember the night we met? When you guys first came and got me and Bianca? I’m sorry I was so irritating that night.” Nico said. Percy frowned at him.

“Um, okay. Random much?”

“Sorry, I just had met someone in Redwood Falls that made me think of that, and…”

“Sarah” all three of the others chimed in unison, and laughed. Nico joined in.

“So you’ve met her too, huh?”

Hazel giggled an answer, “Oh, we all know Sarah, all right. She’s glued to Annabeth’s side every time the shop is open. She’s wicked smart, and such a sweetheart – every time I visit, she tries to make me a New Orleans style dinner. Of course, they are in Minnesota, and nothing there is much spicier than pepper. But she tries so hard I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s not quite the same. She really is an incredible kid, but she can get a little… overzealous sometimes. Piper and I’ve been trying to convince Annabeth to ask her dad out for months now.”

Percy smiled. “Yeah, he’s a good guy. Of course, he’s no me, but…” Hazel threw a napkin at him.

“Hush up, Jackson. She’s been alone too long, and so have you.”

“Hey, at least I’ve dated a few people!” Hazel rolled her eyes.

“Dated people, yadda yadda yadda… when was the last time you took anyone out on a second date, Percy?”

“I took Amelia and Scott out together once, does that count?” Hazel scowled at him.

“You were setting THEM up, so no Percy, it does not.”

“Technically, I wasn’t setting them up. Rachel was.” Hazel threw a packet of sugar at him and he ducked, chuckling. “Anyway man, you’re welcome to crash in one of our visitor houses, if you want. Even if it’s just to calm your crazy sister.”

“Hey! And he’ll take it.” Hazel said, shooting another sugar packet at Percy.

“Whoa, wait, I never sai…”

“I SAY.” Hazel said. She was suddenly stone faced, all traces of laughter gone. She closed her eyes and shook her head a little. “I’m sorry, Nico, I didn’t mean to…” She trailed off and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. “I’m sorry.”

Frank wordlessly reached out for her hands. He shot Nico a look that said, very clearly, “FIX THIS. NOW.” Nico was not at all accustomed to being ordered to do anything, even the instructions he received from his father were phrased with a careful respect to the role Nico played. But he knew why Hazel was reacting this way, and why Frank was so upset. He reached out a hand hesitantly and gave Frank a significant. Frank withdrew his hand, and Nico put his own over Hazel’s. 

“Don’t be, Haze.” He kissed her cheek, then turned his face to Percy.

“When can I move in?”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeeeeeee.... :)

Hazel asked Nico and Percy to stay with them for a couple of days, but Percy declined. “I really have to get back, we’ve got some projects we’re working on for some of our lobbyists. Rachel will kill me if I leave her to do it all herself. Nico, can you take me back, or do you need to rest first?”

“I can take you back, but I’ll need to rest before I can come back here.”

Hazel smiled suddenly and clapped her hands excitedly. “Oh, I know! You go back with Percy, and then you guys can come back this weekend, and I’ll make a special   
dinner! Can you bring the girls too?”

Percy smiled and laughed softly at Hazel’s rapid change of mood. “Wow, I didn’t think you’d let Nico out of your site once you saw him, now you’ll let him go until the weekend?”

“Hey, he’s going with you. I know who to come after if he disappears again.” She smiled at Percy. 

“Hey Hazel, why don’t you take Percy over and show him the new cavalry stables? He hasn’t seen Arion’s newest colt either.” Frank said.

“Oh yes, Nico, you won’t believe how much we’ve done to expand the cavalry segment. We’re working to dedicate a whole cohort to cavalry training!” 

“Actually, why don’t you and Percy go ahead? Let me and Nico catch up a little…” Hazel’s face fell a little, and she cast a wary eye at her fiancée. “Hey, don’t give me that look. Just give us a minute. Please?” Hazel narrowed her eyes at Frank suspiciously, but then smiled grudgingly and kissed him. Without a word, she turned on her heel and started towards the stables.

“Uh, I guess that’s my cue. Be back soon.” Percy said. He looked hesitant to leave, turning a concerned eye on Nico before finally turning to follow Hazel. Once they were out of sight, Frank turned to Nico. His face was calm, but determined. Nico took an unconscious step back, and Frank smiled a little.

“Don’t worry, DiAngelo, I’m not going to hurt you. First of all, Hazel would kill me. Second, it’s not exactly the tone I want to set between me and my brother-in-law. I’m glad you’re back, man, though I don’t know why you left in the first place. But I need to know you understand how badly you hurt her when you left. I’m not going to go into what all happened, she’s worked really hard to put it behind her, and I need to respect that.” Frank drew himself up to his full height and looked Nico square in the eye. “But it can’t EVER happen again. I will not have her hurt like that again. If she does, I will kill whatever is responsible. Or whoever. Are we clear on that, Nico?” Franks eyes burned with intensity, and Nico nodded.

“I never meant to hurt anyone, you know. Especially not her.”

“I know. That’s why you’re still standing.” Frank looked serious, then cracked a small smile and winked at Nico. “I know you’d never hurt her on purpose. But just to let you know, she wasn’t the only one who was upset. Grace was all for splitting up and finding you within the hour once we realized you’d gone, and I thought Percy was going to rip his cabin door off.” Nico hesitated and looked at Frank.

“Yeah, Annabeth told me the same thing.”

“Why do you look so surprised?”

Nico shrugged. “I just don’t understand why. I wasn’t that close with them.” Especially Percy, he thought to himself. He had made very sure of that.

“You might not have been close to them, but they were close to you. You mean a lot to all of us, DiAngelo. You’re a part of our family. Everyone was upset when you left. What, did you think it wouldn’t make a difference to anyone?” Nico shrugged again and looked down, not speaking. After a moment, Frank said, surprised, “Gods, you did, didn’t you? You thought no one would care.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Hazel’s right, you really are an asshat.”

Nico laughed. “Yeah, I am. Side effect of being a child of Hades.”

“Hey, watch it!” Frank said, but good naturedly.

Nico held up his hands. “She’s a child of Pluto, different can of worms entirely.” Frank laughed with him, and they turned to head to the stables. 

“So, you’re gonna stay with Percy for a while, huh?”

“I guess, I mean Hazel isn’t giving me much of a choice, is she.”

Frank put a hand on his arm and stopped him, turning so they faced each other. He hesitated, then blushed. “Look, this isn’t my area of expertise. But is there anything… anything you want to tell me? Anything you want to talk about?”

“Um… no. Like what?” Frank blushed even deeper, then started to walk again, faster this time.

“Never mind. Forget it.”

“Frank, what…” But Frank ignored him and called out to a camper passing, snapping an order about regulation armor being worn in non-combat areas. By the time Nico   
had a chance to speak, they were within hailing distance of the stables, and Frank was calling out to Hazel. Nico knit his brows, but didn’t push it.

As they came up to the stables, Nico noticed the whole area smelled like freshly washed horses and clean hay. The building was beautiful; easily four times the size of the Camp Half Blood stables, and full of horses, pegusi and unicorns. Three training corrals surrounded the main stable, with combat riding lessons going on in two and a unicorn handling lesson in the third.

Hazel and Percy were just inside the door with an iron grey foal, not even six months old. Hazel was proudly stroking the animal’s head. “Nico, meet Poet, Arion’s newest daughter. She’s the first he’s ever let come here.”

“Poet? You named that poor horse Poet? Hazel, that’s animal cruelty!” Nico smirked.

“Oh, think so, do you? Poet, let’s go show him.” She clicked her mouth and led Poet to the outer area. The ground was packed dirt, but there was no fence. “Poet up!” Hazel called, and all traffic immediately cleared from the area and a marge semi-circle of people turned to watch. Hazel whispered in her foal’s ear, smiled, and stepped back. “Poet, go!”

The horse began walking, then trotting, then built up to a full out run, keeping tight to the area ringed in by the crowd. Nico hadn’t ever seen anything like it. Poet’s movements were like water, her muscles moving under her gleaming grey coat with such fluidity it seemed unreal that she was made of anything solid. Her run was like seeing music move, like… Nico couldn’t put words to the feeling he got watching her. Just watching her run made him feel like he was free, like he was running with her. He found himself laughing with an intense sensation of release, of having his heart lightened by a hundred pounds. “Holy Hephestus…” he muttered.

“She’s poetry in motion.” Hazel said with satisfaction. She was almost glowing, she was beaming so hard. Percy whistled appreciatively.

“She certainly is. Remind me to keep Blackjack away from here for a few years.” Hazel gave Percy a hard look. “Kidding, I’m kidding!” She stared at him harder. “I’m not kidding? Okay, I guess I’m keeping Blackjack away from here for a few years.” Hazel gave a satisfied nod and stepped forward, giving one sharp whistle that brought the horse to a quick and graceful stop. Nico noted that Poet wore no bridle or harness. 

“You have her trained to voice commands only, and run her in the open?”

Hazel looked at him with a furrowed brow. “I put a bridle on her, and Arion nips my left arm off. No, no bridle for Poet. She’s never needed one anyway.” She nuzzled the foal, and for a moment it looked like she had tears in her eyes. She sniffled. “Um, I’ll be right back.” And turned quickly away. Frank looked after her, an expression of slight concern on his face. 

“You need anything, Hazel?” he said. She shook her head and didn’t look back. 

Percy spoke hesitantly, “Is it just me, or does Hazel seem a little… moody.”

Frank’s shoulders sagged. “it’s not just you.” He put his head in his hands and grunted in frustration. “She’ll kill me for telling you guys, but I can’t stand it anymore, it’s driving both of us crazy and she won’t talk to anyone, and I think we should move the wedding but she insists it’ll be fine, and…” Frank’s voice kept getting higher and higher, the panic more and more evident. Percy grabbed the big guy by the shoulders and turned him so they were facing each other.

“Frank, dude, calm down. What are you talking about?” 

Frank looked at Percy with an imploring expression on his face, like he was begging Percy to make it all better. 

“Hazel’s pregnant.”


	17. Chapter 17

  
“What?!” Percy and Nico chorused. Frank sighed deeply and closed his eyes.

“Yep, she’s gonna kill me. Look guys, you can’t tell her you know. Please, I’m begging you. It takes almost nothing to reduce her to a hysterical sobbing mess, and she’s got to keep steady as long as possible. As soon as the senate finds out, they’re going to suspend her praetor status until after the baby is born and she’s back to being battle ready, and the longer we can put that off, the better. She’s terrified that she’ll lose her status permanently.”

Nico cut across him with a move of his hand. “Whoa, wait a second, back up. First of all, you got my baby sister pregnant?” An instinctive protective impulse made Nico want to lay Frank flat, but his better angels kept his limbs, if not his mouth, stationary. Frank scowled at him.

“You really want to go there right now, after you’ve just come back from being MIA for well over four years?”

Nico considered this, his eyes still hard. His shoulders sagged slightly, and he took a deep breath to steady himself. In a much softer tone, he asked “How is she holding up? Is she okay? Gods, she’s so young…”

Frank nodded. “She’s just concerned about the appearance of the baby being born so soon after the wedding – people will know she was pregnant when we got married. Stuff like that bothers her; it’s the old south coming out in her.”

“But she’s not upset about actually being pregnant?” Nico asked.

Frank shook his head and smiled. “No, she’s thrilled about that. So am I, for that matter. I know we’re young, she’s just barely nineteen. But again, nineteen was a pretty common age to be married and have kids where she comes from.” He paused for a moment, adding in an undertone “Hazel has never gotten over the fact that it was her powers that raised Alcyoneus, even though it really wasn’t her choice.”

“She feels like it’s still her fault.” Nico interjected, growling under his breath. He had been thinking about this for years now, and had only realized recently that what Hazel had suffered was more like rape than anything else. Forced to do something she wanted no part of, forced to use powers she never wanted in the first place for something so ugly, so contrary to life itself. It made Nico want to raise Gaea again just to punch a hole through her head.

“Exactly. Honestly…” He hesitated again, seeming to struggle with something. Then he said, in a low rush, “Honestly, she feels like this is a rebirth for her too. Like she can use the power in her body to create something incredibly beautiful, to help make up for the poisoned feeling Alcyoneus gave her. That’s what she told me, anyway. As for me, Hazel’s my only family now. I love her, I’ve loved her since the day I met her, and all I want to do is build a life with her. It would have been nice to have some time for just the two of us for a while, but we’ll have time for that in the future.” Frank smiled a little harder and blushed. “And I really like the idea of being someone’s dad.”  
Percy chucked Frank on the arm and then hugged him. “You’ll be an awesome dad, Frank. Congratulations, man.” Nico was looking at the ground, seemingly deep in thought.

“Thanks, Percy. Remember, though, you can’t tell her. Or Annabeth. Or Rachel. No one. I wasn’t supposed to tell a soul, but I just couldn’t take it anymore…”

“Naw, man, I understand. Lips are sealed. Right, Nico?” Nico looked up, his eyes glassy and distant. He took in a breath as if to say something, paused, started to speak again, and stopped a second time. Finally he looked at Frank and said “I’m Uncle Nico, then?” He phrased it like a question, almost like he was asking permission. Frank nodded, and Nico smiled.

It was a wide smile that lit every corner of his face. Muscles moved in his cheeks that hadn’t been used in years. Nico couldn’t remember the last time he smiled that hard. Uncle Nico. Hazel had never really known a loving parent, but he had no doubt that she would be the most amazing mother the world had ever seen. The thought warmed him all the way through, and he felt physically light, like he could literally float up off the floor. He pulled his thoughts together and focused on Frank.

“Congrats, man. I’d hug you, but Hazel’s coming, and I think it’d be a bit of a giveaway.” Frank looked slightly alarmed and turned to look over his shoulder. Nico turned to shoot a knowing grin at Percy, and found Percy already studying him with a speculative expression. “What?”

“Huh?” Percy seemed to bring himself out of his own reverie.

“What are you looking at?”

“Wha… nothing. Sorry, just thinking.” He straightened and turned to Frank and Hazel, who reached the group and had unconsciously pulled Franks arm over her shoulder, holding his large hand with both of hers in front of her heart and leaning against him, looking utterly happy and content. “Sorry, Hazel, but I really do need to get back. But we’re back this weekend, for sure, right Nico?”

“Definitely. And I’ll bring Annabeth and Rachel with us, if they can come.” Nico watched his sisters face change as it fell into lines of misery and tears welled up in her eyes. He hugged her close, but not too tight. “Hey, none of that, we’ll be back on Saturday, I promise.” Wow. Frank hadn’t been kidding, she could flip moods faster than a light switch. He gave Frank a sympathetic look over her shoulder. Hazel nodded, but did not speak. Nico released her, then planted a kiss on her forehead. He shook hands with Frank as Percy gave Hazel a quick goodbye hug and promised he’d keep an eye on Nico. Then Nico and Percy stepped into a shadow and clasped hands, and Nico carried them home. A millisecond before they crossed into the shadows, Nico noticed that when their hands connected, their fingers laced together instead of gripping each other. He smiled before he could stop himself.

 

They stepped out of the same shadow they had used to travel that morning. Nico took a deep breath and bent over double with his hands resting on his knees, panting slightly at the effort of a second shadow jump within just a couple of hours. Percy looked down at him solicitously “You okay, Nico?” Nico nodded but did not speak. Normally shadow travel wasn’t nearly this exhausting, but it also wasn’t usually combined with so much emotional exertion. Give Nico a battle with a gorgon or a giant, and he’d have energy to spare. But these emotional reunions, he just wasn’t used to this. At all. He was so glad to see people, he hadn’t let himself think about how much he missed people, but he now saw how much it cost him, to be cut off from Hazel and his friends. They meant a lot more to him than he’d ever let himself admit before.

Finally, Nico stood straight and headed for the long, low couch to sit. “Could I get some water?” Percy nodded, disappeared into the cottages kitchen, and came back with an eco-bottle of water, followed by Rachel and Annabeth. Percy handed the bottle to Nico, who opened it and drained it in one pull. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Hey man, Rachel and I are late for a meeting, did you want to go back to my place and crash for a while? You look exhausted.”

Nico started to say no, that he could just crash on the couch for a while, but then he thought “Sheets… a bed…” He pulled himself to stand again.

“Lead the way.” Percy nodded and motioned for him to follow. The four of them left the cottage, and Rachel locked the door.

“So, how’d the meeting with Hazel and Frank go?” Annabeth asked.

“Her right hook is harder than yours. Or Percy’s.” Nico answered. Annabeth snorted and looked at Percy. “Did you keep count this time?”

“Three while I was there, but possibly more when she was with alone with Nico.” Percy answered.

“Three what?” Nico asked, his brows furrowed.

“Major mood swings. Oh,” she turned to Percy, “did you tell him?”

“Never got a chance to.” Percy answered, adding in a slow and rather dramatic tone of voice “Frank told us. Hazel was gone and he swore us to secrecy, but…” he trailed off.  Annabeth laughed.

“So he finally cracked, that’s awesome. Oh, I hope she tells us soon, this is killing me!”

Nico interrupted, “Wait, you guys know?”

Rachel laughed, “Well, I guess we can’t say we ‘knew’ before, but we had a pretty good idea. Hazel’s not a really emotional person, but she’s been crying at the drop of a hat the last few weeks.”

“Plus, our last girls day out she put tabasco sauce on her pancakes, but then turned green when she got a whiff of my strawberry waffles. That pretty much settled it for me.” Annabeth added.

As they drew closer to Percy’s cabin, Nico turned to him and said “I locked the door behind me this morning, but if you just want to give me the keys, I’ll let myself back in and you guys can get going.” Percy nodded and fished his keys out of his jeans pocket.

“Get some rest, man, and we’ll do dinner when I get back.”

“Sounds good, thanks Perce.” Nico nodded a farewell at the rest of the group, then turned to jog to the cabin door. He let himself in and turned on a lamp to augment the hazy, overcast sunshine that lit the room. In his fatigue last night, and his anxiety to see Hazel today, he hadn’t really looked around before.

The cottage was small and cozy, with obvious modifications that made it suitable to live in year round. Windows held wooden shades under straight blue curtains, and Nico was betting those were a touch from Percy’s mom. The living space was decorated with a nautical theme – shipwheels, anchors, “No Wake, Please” signs, and so forth. The tiny kitchen held old appliances, rusted and stained with age, but they just lent to the rustic feel of the place. The cabin smelled like Percy did, fresh and salty and alive, like the air around him held another living presence. Nico closed his eyes for a minute and felt the scent soak into his pores.

Damn, he was slipping again. Slipping too much. I can’t afford this, he thought. I’m not ten years old anymore. He shook himself internally and headed into the bedroom. Sleep, I just need sleep. Just as he was lowering himself onto the bed, he spotted the most ridiculous stuffed animal he had ever seen. It was a purple and white plaid walrus, with bright turquoise buttons for eyes and purple stitching that was unravelling for a mouth and nose. He reached out and grabbed the walrus to take a closer look. It was worn threadbare in places, and had obviously been well loved. Nico lay on his side, looking at the stuffed animal and imagining a five or six year old Percy clutching it as he watched TV, as he rode in the cart through the grocery store, or as he fell asleep.

Sleep came over Nico without warning. Not meaning to, Nico instinctively pulled the walrus close to him. If he hadn’t been pulled under so fast, he would have put the walrus back, he never would have allowed an indulgence like that. Dangerous. Painful. Too much. Too close. Percy. Percy. Percy…

“Percy…” he muttered in his sleep, the walrus tucked below his chin. Again he had no nightmares.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we have the Percico feels!!!

  
The sun had set completely when Nico finally woke. He wasn’t used to sleeping so hard, and he disliked the heavy, awkward feeling his body had upon waking, but he was also grateful for the feeling of being fully rested. The clock on the nightstand read 9:42pm. As he stood up and stretched, he caught a flash of purple and white out of the corner of his eye. The stuffed walrus had rolled onto the floor at some point. He hastily picked it up and put it back on the chair where he found it. He ran his fingers through his hair and straightened the t-shirt he wore before stepping out into the living room.

Percy sat at the kitchen table in the front corner of the house, going through a stack of papers strewn in front of him. Percy’s iPod was plugged into the stereo, and as the last notes of “Sweet Child of Mine” died off, it was replaced with the opening of “It’s Raining Again”.

“Supertramp? Really Percy?” Percy looked up and smiled.

“Hey, you’re awake! How’d you sleep?”

“Like the dead. No pun intended.” Nico showed a small smile.

“Yeah, you were pretty out. I have to admit, though, I’d never have pegged you for a walrus man.” Percy teased. Nico blushed and ducked his head, looking for something to change the subject. When he looked back at Percy, he was a little surprised to see a slight blush colored his cheeks as well. That was puzzling. Then he noticed the small glass in front of Percy half filled with amber liquid and ice. Ah, that would explain it. Nico walked over to the table, grabbing the glass and taking a swallow. It burned pleasantly on the way down and settled in his stomach with a soft numbing sensation.

“You’re too young to be drinking these.” Nico said, raising his eyebrows when Percy looked at him questioningly. Percy smirked and pushed his chair back, standing to get another glass for himself. He put four fresh ice cubes in and poured it three quarters of the way full from the bottle of Jack Daniels on the counter.

“So, tell me Nico, how’s your love life?” Percy was slightly slurring his words. Nico choked on his drink.

“Uh, what?”

“I want to know about you, Nico. You’re my friend and I want to know about your life. Tell me about the last guy you dated.”

Nico blushed and looked at the floor. “Um, I’ve never actually dated anyone. I never stay in one place long enough to really make any friends in the mortal world, much less find someone to date.” Percy’s face darkened.

“I’m sorry, that came out the wrong way. I’m not trying to be an ass, you know. I just… I want to know you better, that’s all.”

Nico reached over with his glass. “Top me off, would you?” Percy smirked again and splashed a little more into the glass Nico had confiscated from him. A few drops sloshed out and landed on Nico’s fingers and the floor. “Whoa there, Jackson, careful!”

Percy laughed, and Nico noticed his breath was heavy with alcohol. He looked at Percy more carefully and noticed a dull, tired look in his eyes. “You okay?” he asked.

“Well, Nico, now that you mention it, no.” Percy moved over to the couch and flopped down, not even looking when he splashed some of his own drink. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “See, up until yesterday afternoon I thought I had ruined your life.”

Gods, had it just been yesterday? That didn’t seem possible. Nico drained his glass and refilled it. He immediately felt a hot flush cross his face from the alcohol.

“I thought you hated me, and I spent years trying to figure out how to fix it. I was so pissed off when you left, Nico, I couldn’t even see straight. Your sister, Camp Half Blood, the River Styx, Bob, your dad’s palace, your dad’s new sword, everything, I kept thinking about everything and what it meant and where I’d let you down and how I could have done it better and been the kind of friend you deserved, and I tortured myself trying to figure out how I could fix it, even after you were long gone.” Percy paused, and Nico drew in a breath, but Percy held up a hand to stop him. “And then yesterday you show up here, and I hit you in the face, and you proceed to tell me that you didn’t leave because I let you down over and over, but because you…” Percy hesitated, obviously trying to choose the right word.

“Loved you.” Nico supplied, careful to use past tense. He said it with a strange, gentle confidence. It was the first time he’d said it to Percy, and yet the confession fell from his lips like a feather, soft and hovering, taking its time to get to its destination. His heart, his treacherous, stupid, arrogant and childish heart swelled and tightened at the same time. He should feel afraid, talking about this. He had avoided this conversation with everyone, he hadn’t even gone into depth with Andrew, his soul side guide to acceptance of his gay identity. He had damn near torn Cupid apart when he forced the truth from Nico in Split, and remembered the blind panic, fear, pain and shame when he realized he couldn’t stop Jason from seeing into his heart. He should feel afraid, he knew he should.

But he didn’t.

He was calm. He was safe. Percy was safe. Even though he didn’t return Nico’s feelings, Percy would be safe.

“…loved me.” Percy whispered, opening his eyes and looking at Nico. “On top of everything else I did, I broke your heart as well. Nice job, Jackson, another winner move!” he called sarcastically, raising his glass as if in a toast. His mouth twisted and he took another drink.

Nico shook his head. “Percy, you never let me down. Ever. In fact, no matter how hard I tried to push you away, you insisted on being there, helping me, taking care of me whenever and however you could. Hell, Jackson, I all but spit in your face after you and Annabeth left Tartarus and you STILL saved my ass in the battle of Camp Half Blood. You never let me down.”

Percy looked at him with a level gaze. “Is that why you loved me?”

Nico shook his head. The alcohol was affecting him already. He could feel the fuzz settling in his brain, and it seemed to loosen his tongue.

“No, though it didn’t do anything to discourage it.” Nico took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “The first time I ever saw you, I was gone. I was ten years old, and I was just… I was gone, Percy. A real hero.” Nico’s voice took on a distant quality, like he was talking to himself rather than Percy. “You rescued us, you took us away to a dream land, to a nirvana for a ten year old geek who loved Mythomagic. I looked at you, looked in your face, your eyes, and I could see, Percy. I could see you, the hero you are, I saw it and… I was gone.” His eyes remained closed as his voice trailed away. He could feel Percy’s gaze still on him, patient and kind. They stayed like that for a very long time, long enough for Percy to wonder if Nico had fallen asleep. Finally, Percy broke the silence in a whisper.

“You never answered my question, you know.”

“What question is that?” Nico responded softly, opening his eyes and turning his face to meet Percy’s eyes.

“How do you feel about me now, Nico?” His voice was barely a whisper. Nico held his gaze and remained silent for another eternity. Then he sighed and shrugged.

“I guess that’s the $64,000 question, isn’t it?”

Percy pursed his lips. “Please, Nico. Tell me.” His eyes were wide and soft, and his tone held an edge of… was it need? Panic?

“Percy, I can’t. I don’t even know myself, it’s been over four years, and I don’t know.” He paused. “Why is it important?”

Percy sighed and shrugged. “I guess that’s the $64,000 question, isn’t it?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still very new, and VERY MUCH WELCOME gentle guidance. :)


End file.
